Guy I wouldn’t kick out of bed – Robert Downey Jnr

The Lawyer pick

So Friend from Jo’burg, we’ll call her ‘The Lawyer’ was down again this week. Yes, I have other friends. So I asked her to pick a Guy She Wouldn’t Kick Out of Bed…

“Robert Downey Jnr”… was her pick.

“Because first he’d sniff coke off my body, then he’d f@ck me…” was her reason.

Double bonus!

Good thing this blog isn’t PG. My mother also really likes him – I hope to God it’s not for the same reasons.

Here’s the picture…. he is pretty bed worthy.

I’d tap that – Olivia Wilde

Another I’d tap that.

Today’s lucky lady is Olivia Wilde. She’s 25, Lives in New York and currently acts in “House”. (In case you were wondering were you’ve seen here berfore?)

Other than that there’s not that much to tell. She was also in the OC, amongst other things and will be in the new Jack Black and Micheal Cera movie “Year One”. And that’s about enough information, I’m sure that no one cares too much.

So here’s the picture enjoy!

Some Favourite Party Tricks

A blog entry by Kappie

Everybody knows that in order to have a really good party there needs to be booze first of all and of course, the opposite sex. Dancing is a good addition to have any excuse to get closer to the opposite sex, but I prefer a good old wholesome game of Twister… Naked Twister!

Now, there are lots of different ‘roles’ you can play at parties. You could be the centre of attention, which leaves less time to get up to mischief seeing as people are more likely to notice you’re missing and likely to look for you. You could be the quiet person in the corner who observes and might take the odd photo to use as leverage on whoever doing whatever. You may find yourself being the person who never leaves the drinks table or bar and probably ends up tilting it over after your 8th tequila shot.

Whoever your character is at parties, I’ll bet you have some tricks up your sleeve that only come out at parties. I’d like to share some of mine and hear some of yours.

If you’re going to a party where nobody knows you and has no idea of how you got invited in the first place, using a different name should be top of your list. This way, once you’ve managed to some how light the couch on fire, your real name won’t be tarnished.

You’re stuck at a party where there’s no ‘punch’ in the punch – a hip flask filled with your favourite whiskey should console you.

Tripping the lights is always a good way to cause some midnight chaos and even grab a quick kiss from the good looking person next to you. This may call for a helper who has agreed to trip the lights while you cleverly position yourself.

No matter how tempting that Jacuzzi looks…DO NOT get in. Many a rash has come from an ‘innocent’ little swim. If you want to somehow get involved in the Jacuzzi try throwing a box of washing powder in and see how those bubbles rise to the sky. It’s glorious.

Telling people that you have a rare and prestigious job helps in attracting more attention to yourself too. This may entail some research, but if it’s a really bizarre job you can normally wing it and people won’t question you.

If you have anymore potentially useful tricks that I could use…I mean Lank Tank could write about, feel free to tell us.

June polls are up

And the voting begins again…

So go to the Take Your Pick page to cast your vote and let’s see who will be triumphant for June.

The competition is stiff so it’s game on:

I’d tap that – Will it be the foreign model, the “genie in a bottle” singer, perhaps the Italian soccer show presenter or will it be JT’s girlfriend?

Guy I wouldn’t kick out of bed – It’s between the guy that made Felicity good, the South American, “I don’t go mainstream” actor, the Swedish footballer with the big, eh-hem ,tattoo or the once teen heartthrob from the O.C?

You decide.

There can be, only one.

That’s Gold! Apples and Allergies

It’s that time again for the worse material… ever

So what’s the deal with apples? I thought one a day was meant to keep the doctor away? But I eat apples every day and had to go see my GP last week because of my allergies. What’s that about? I think the saying should be adapted to, “An apple a day keeps the doctor away as long as you’re not allergic to pollen, dust mites and ginger cats. Also if you have one of those terminal illnesses like Aids.” Hey? I’d like to see an apple cure skin cancer – Doubtful. That’s the reality.

And speaking of apples, how lame is the name “Granny Smith Apple?” I wonder why they named it that. Maybe Graeme Smith’s great great great granny invented it. Huh?

Speaking of allergies (from earlier before), how bad is this weather we’re having? Any colder and I’m going to turn into a snowman…sorry snow-woman. And when my nose turns into an icicle and breaks off you can just replace it with a carrot. Wouldn’t that be a site? A blonde snow-woman with a carrot for a nose; it’s gonna be hard for me to get a date…unless I’m into rabbits! (Because rabbits like carrots)

There’s more where this came from…

On jokes in bad taste

This entry was brought to you by FirstChild

We here at the Tank were big Micheal Jackson fans. We are that age. And we were a little upset by people’s responses to his sad passing. For a start, there was just not enough break for the jokes. In some cases it was just a couple of hours. Too soon! And you know those jokes were recycled. Like the playstation one. Not only was it in poor taste, but “they” (the joke makers) didnt even update it to be an xbox 360 or a wii. Lazy. There is a tradeoff between poor taste and funniness. The funnier, the more poor taste you are allowed. Another thing, already the conspiracy theories have started. Its wrong. Our recommendation is that you’re meant to wait at least a week for the jokes, and a month for the conspiracy theories. Basics.

A different issue is everyone forgetting about Iran. Like, oh well, maybe we’ll get ‘em next time (yeah you, Ahmadi-Nejad, what’s the deal with the hyphenation everyone is doing now anyway??). Yeah ok, we see you guys in green are getting beaten, locked up without charge, murdered etc, but hello, world’s biggest selling popstar is dead. And allegedly from a medication addiction… We’re shocked. Shocked!

Anyway,respect to MJ for great music, and breaking racial barriers. We are sad for the  molestation charges, and all the other problems. This was a tragic life, and people have responded to his death in very different ways based often on the meaning of his music in their own lives. Everyone gets to have their own view on the veracity of the charges he faced, the manner in which he conducted his life, the importance of his music, and the meaning of his career.  Provided you’re not in a country like Iran, of course. Cause then your view better be state-approved. Anyway, no-one can deny that for many there aint no sunshine now he’s gone.

Here’s a classic

Results for May

And its the moment, maybe no one else has been waiting for…

The winners of the May 2009, “I’d tap that” and “Guy I wouldn’t kick out of bed” polls….. and I must say, a pretty surprising outcome….

For I’d tap that: Natalie Portman! Well done FirstChild, your first win of the year! Which basically means, your first win ever. Natalie won with 45% of the vote, kicking both Marissa Miller and Megan Fox’s ass (maybe you didn’t get to see enough of Megan’s ass in Transformers 2? I dunno, I’m only seeing it tonight!) And sorry Kappie…Amanda Bynes didn’t get a single vote. Not one… which technically means not even you, voted for her. Tsk Tsk.

And for Guy I wouldn’t kick out of bed: Patrick Dempsey! Perhaps it had something to do with the Grey’s finale and him finally **spoiler alert** marrying Meredeth. So, it’s a congrats to GND too for picking this one, and clinching her first victory of the year too.

You guys…..the game is on now!!!

June poll goes up this week.

How do you say, different?

Well hello there my little friends! And my slightly overweight friends and my freakishly tall friends and my dickhead friends.

As you may have noticed the “tank” is looking a little, how do you say, different. I’m not french… I don’t know why I said, “how do you say” before I said the word. Of course I know the word. I’m English (not British – let’s clear that right up) but my native tongue is English. I knew which word I was going to use, I knew perfectly well.

Let’s get back on the point shall we? The site will be going through some changes and will do so for a little while before reaching its makeover finale.

Please bear with moi during this process…

But unfortunately for you, I’ll still be here! Blogging away! Along with the others too…. blog, blog, blogging.

OK, I will not say the word “blog” again… Damn it! OK that was the last time. No more….must not say blllllll…….0000

The Ex-troduction

This entry was brought to you by Kappie

While I’m on the subject I’d like to touch a little on ex-girlfriends. Yes, just about every guy, and some girls, have at least one ex-girlfriend.

What’s worse than having an ex-girlfriend? Bumping into an ex-girlfriend, unless it’s to give you back your PlayStation, bottle of cognac or that T-shirt that has the really offensive writing on it.

First eye contact is made. You can tell how the rest of the encounter is going to go from the look on her face or yours. Surprise is a good first facial expression. This is usually followed by a rather awkward look down or to the side. Now you start to wonder if you should go over and be polite. Maybe even drop a hug, but there’s always that fear of you with your arms wide open, while she just stands there, arms folded just staring at you. You might as well hug a pole…or a toilet bowl if you decide to binge drink after the encounter.

No one (me) really knows why it should even be awkward in the first place. I mean your ex didn’t always used to be your ex. You used to be really close and tell each other all sorts of things, but now it’s like you don’t even know one another. Is it because you’ve more than likely seen each other naked and now scared the other one is picturing you naked right now? Is it maybe because she still has a good relationship with your mother who has now become a double agent? Is it because the other person really knows what a freak you are? Who knows, but whatever the reason, it still remains all awkward.

So, I have come up with a couple unorthodox ways of making things less awkward:

-Move far, far away. Not Jupiter far, but maybe just Mars far.

-Faking your death could work, if she doesn’t rock up at your fake funeral.

-You could change the way you look, your number and even your religion.

-How about introducing her to a friend like Jimbo that will soon make her move away?

-Alternatively you could try date again, break up and see if it’s not as awkward the second (third, fourth, fifth…) time.

-Date her mother. Not going to make things less awkward, but thought I’d just throw that in there.

None of these will probably work, but good luck anyway.

Kappie out.

Guy I wouldn’t kick out of bed – Benjamin Mckenzie

Oh yes, it’s Ryan from the O.C. And don’t pretend like you don’t know what the O.C. is…back in the day, we all had a little gander at it. The Coopers and The Cohen’s: Oh what a tangled web they all weaved!

I must say I was pretty late coming to the party with this show and only caught it on the re-runs when it came on SABC. (So you can imagine how old it was by then!) I became so hooked with season 1, that I had to go out and rent the DVD’s to watch season 2. However, I had to call it quits after that because I knew it had started to take over my life, when Fakeme would walk through the door and I’d grab her by the arm and say, “It’s Ryan…and Marissa. I don’t think they’re gonna make it!”

She’d make me put down the remote and go to sleep.

But I always loved Ryan the most. Yes, Seth was the cute, funny guy (who I would usually prefer) but there was something about Ryan. His intense looks and “rough” background won me over hands down. Except he did like to punch people a lot, which was a little concerning.

I suppose one day I’ll tackle the rest of the seasons again…one day.

Meanwhile, since the O.C. days are over, Benjamin Mckenzie has moved on to a series called, “Southland.” Some info on the show: “From Emmy Award winners John Wells, Ann Biderman and Chris Chulack comes a raw and authentic look at a police unit in Los Angeles. From the beaches of Malibu to the streets of East Los Angeles, “Southland” is a fast-moving drama that will take viewers inside the lives of cops, criminals, victims and their families.”

Anyways, I’ve almost forgotten this is A Guy I Wouldn’t Kick Out Of Bed segment… so with no further ado, the picture:

Look how cute and worried he looks…sweet!