My highlights of the week:

- I went to an aKing concert and the singer only bitched about the sound check 8 times as opposed to 26 times like he usually does.

- I made chicken pitas using the Nando’s sauce and it was glorious.

- I attended Hailstorm’s grandfather’s 70th birthday party and they made him a cake with 70 candles on it, which he blew out! All 70!

- I watched ‘Back to the Future’ and still liked it.

- I spent a gift voucher which I’ve had a year to do, and DMeister said I’d forget before the cut off… but he was wrong. I used it.

- My boss hasn’t been at work for 3 days.

I’d tap that – Mila Kunis

Time for everybody’s favourite installment. This week, I’m nominating the superhot Mila Kunis. Remember that 70s show? You know you do. 6:30-7:00pm, everybody’s favourite time of the day. Well, in case you needed more convincing, apparently she has a “steamy“  scene with previous “I’d tap that” winner, Harvard’s Natalie Portman, in the new Darren Aronofsky movie about competing ballet dancers (Yes, from the man who brought you “Pi”, and “Requiem for a Dream”). This is sacrificing for art.

these boots are made for lying down suggestively

This chick is hardcore

Soccer in the states can be a rough game…. expecially when up against this chick:

Jeeeez

Those People…

There are various social situations which become the norm in life and when one breaks away from the norm, it’s not inspired but rather annoying and they should be castrated for such actions. I’m referring to

Those people:

-    Who ask how you are, to which you reply; “Fine thanks and you?” Only to have them respond; “Oh, not well.”
Great, now I know where the next 25 minutes are going. You suckered me into asking how you were only to blab about how your boss sucks and you’re considering quitting to join a conservation expedition for a year or 2 so you can find yourself.

-    Who ask too many questions when you barely know them. Can we not stick to the basic chit chat? I don’t know you and clearly we haven’t made a “friendship” connection so; let’s just stay with the weather and what we do for a living shall we? I’m not comfortable enough with you to talk about my dead Manchester Terrier or the fight I had with my best friend last week. And I’m certainly not interested in your hernia operation or the awful experience you had at the salon. It’s awkward, so stop talking.

-    Who have to explain a joke to you after you’ve just made it. It’s like; “Yes, thanks for breaking it down for me. I almost forgot why it was funny. Phew, you’re a life saver.” You know what isn’t funny? That.

-    Who don’t know when to end a conversation. You kind of know them and run into them in the mall. You make the usual; “fancy meeting you here,” and “so what brings you here,” comments and then it’s time to wrap things up. But they don’t. They just linger there, never taking the opportunity to walk away. Even when you say things like; “Aaaanyway…” and “Well you look at the time…” they still don’t get the hint. Why? Why won’t you leave? Walk away!

Stuff white people like

Luwie found this link. And it has some pretty gold posts.

So, if you have time at work… like those last 55 minutes of the day, when you reeeeally couldn’t be asked to start something else, I mean, hello! The day is practically over! But you need to look at something – check it out:

http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/

To hide or not to hide…

Kappie and I went for lunch the other week. I ordered the chicken mayo sandwich with avo. No tomato. I remember specifically requesting no tomato because I made some joke about it and we all laughed, or at least pretended to laugh.

Then Kappie comes along with his one chicken burger (but with no relish, hold the gherkins, add a slice of cheese and a crispy bun, not the brown seed one and only a half portion of lettuce) order. Blowing my request, right out of the water!

So of course, our meals arrive; Kappie’s is to perfection. Mine however, the understated yet classic  chicken mayo, had tomato.

Now, I’m not one to complain. Ultimately I can just pick the tomato off, no harm no foul. And in the end, I don’t blame the deli; I blame Kappie – with his perplexing, picky, order…confusing people everywhere in the world, all day, every day.

I said as much to him. He didn’t care as he munched away on his idyllic sandwich, smirking as I picked off each tomato slice, almost as if he had calculated it all to go down this way.

As I finished the sandwich, all that was left on the plate was one lettuce leaf (the garnish on the plate vibe) and the 4 massive slices of tomato.

Now, for some reason, I felt bad. The deli guy is lovely and when he comes to take the plates away he’s going to see all the tomato and remember that I asked for no tomato, which will make him feel bad. So I began attempting to hide all the tomato underneath the lettuce leaf. At this point Kappie queried what in world I was doing (although he did say, “world”).

I explained my reasoning to which he counter-argued. He felt that if I left the tomato on the plate but didn’t say anything, they’d see they made the error but think; “How nice is LT that she didn’t say anything. There goes an upstanding citizen.”

Interesting. 

To hide the tomato or not to hide the tomato.

For those still reading this, I’ve decided to wrap this up as I’m really going nowhere… So, after much debate, I ended up hiding half and leaving half.

Not too sure what statement that made.

Just putting it out there. Which one would have done?

Thew it on the ground and Porcelain Fountains

SNL at it’s pretty funniest:

Music video and a sketch.. all rolled into one:

Things one prefers not to endure when hung-over:

Sunlight

The noise of a vacuum cleaner

Steri Stumpie – it seems like a good idea… until it begins curdling in your stomach

The smell of tequila

The taste of tequila

The word “tequila”

Salad

The distance from your bedroom to the bathroom… “Why don’t they build the toilet right next the bed??”

The dentist – for you and him both.

Friend calling to recapture every event and moment of the previous night.

Parents calling to ask why they never see you anymore and what you’re doing… with regards to your life.

Riding on horseback

Clubbing seals

Listening to Justin Timberlake

Brushing your hair

Singing in the shower

Oil spills in the Atlantic

Any movie by Disney

Ok so; some of these aren’t necessarily “hangover” specific. But I needed to fill the page.

I’d Tap That – Catrinel Menghia

We always like to stay current here at The Lank Tank. That’s why I’m choosing Sports Illustrated Swimwear cover model Catrinel Menghia.

Obviously we’d like to know a few things about Ms Menghia. Like, she’s Romanian, she’s 24, she’s the face of a French lingerie brand and, oh yes, she’s smoking hot!

I don’t know who she’s dating, but I don’t care for him much…

She looks good with more clothing on too, but sometimes less is more…

A word of thanks to my ex-house-mate for telling me about Ms Menghia.

I wonder, would it even matter if she couldn’t speak a word of English?

Guy I wouldn’t kick out of bed – Brad Pitt

A Luwie pick

So the last few GIWKOOB have left a lot to be desired. We’ve had the lady-boy from Gossip Girl, which I am embarrassed to admit was my choice, and Kiefer who, whilst very cool, would not  be everyone’s definition of hot. So this time I’ve gone for a man whom there is not one person on this planet, has not either wished he was or was sleeping with (for most of us, either option would do).

In Fight Club, he had more muscles in his abdominals than I have in my entire body. In Meet Joe Black, he was party to the coolest death ever. Oceans 11, Snatch, Legends of the Fall, Troy, Seven, Mr and Mrs Smith… you name the movie, he was cool. He is also in QT’s latest offering, Inglorious Basterds… and I am willing to bet my bottom dollar he is cool in that. He has also slept with 2 of the hottest women ever born, Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie. Right, before I get too excited, I give you my choice for GIWKOOB, Brad Pitt…