The Lank Tank

Why so serious?

It happens

Posted by lanktank on November 23, 2009

You don’t want to be that person but we all have been at some point in our awkward, less than perfect lives…

You know,

-    That A-Hole who forgets to turn off their cell phone and it rings during a groom’s wedding speech.

-    Having a tickle in your throat and beginning to cough during a small, intimate theatre production.

-    Crying during a movie, in the cinema on your first date.

-    Being the nose sniffer during a crucial final exam. You can feel the people around you, staring, sighing, wishing an asteroid would land on your face.

-    Falling asleep during a work meeting. Not necessarily “full on” sleeping but your eyes are opening and closing at an abnormally slow pace.

-    Tripping as you walk into a house party… or a club.

-    Talking exceptionally loud at a party because the music is blasting but then it suddenly turns off. You’re still talking at that volume. Here, it never really matters what you’re actually saying, it’s always embarrassing. But usually whatever you are saying… is embarrassing.

-    Eating something and it’s so hot you have to spit it out. Only to look around and realise you’re in company.

I suppose we can take comfort to know that we’re not alone. It happens to everybody… unless it doesn’t and it’s just me! Oh no! Oh no! Don’t say it to be true!

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Too Early?

Posted by lanktank on November 20, 2009

Yesterday I drove past a middle-aged fat man, sitting in a bakkie, wearing no shirt and a Santa’s hat.

Today I arrived at work and Boney M was blaring from the office.

Christmas is upon us…. you’ve been warned.

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Guy I wouldn’t kick outta bed – Gavin Rossdale

Posted by lanktank on November 19, 2009

I really wanted to do a musician… um, for my GIWKOB post… and thought; “Hey, this will be easy…” but when I started searching it turned out: Uh, it wasn’t so easy.

The thing is, most musicians look as sexy as hell when they’re up on stage, singing, jamming, playing guitar with sweat dripping off them… in that hot, “I really want you” kind of way.

But when you’re looking for a photograph of them… it turns out, a lot of them aren’t the sex symbols you see when you’re at the concert…. a couple 100 metres away.

Shallow? Yes. Fickle? Of course. But this is a competition and all I have is a picture to work with.

Anyway, not wanting to deviate from my “theme” I suddenly remembered: Gavin Rossdale. This British hottie, married to Gwen Stefani and the front man for the band Bush, is a very good pick. Not only is he “rock ‘n roll” and super, rad cool; but he seems like a great husband and father. Everything a girl looks for. Also, he’s not one of those “metrosexuals…” – how would I know you ask? I don’t.

I'm just sitting here, shirtless, biting my nail in deep, concentrated thought

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Total Eclipse of the Heart

Posted by lanktank on November 18, 2009

It’s the literal video version! They re-sing what’s actually going on in the video. Kleppie sent this to me and it’s gold. They’re a whole bunch but I’ve posted Bonnie Tyler’s “Total Eclipse of the Heart.”

It starts off funny and just gets funnier! Worth a watch for sure:

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Angry Elephant…. Seal

Posted by lanktank on November 17, 2009

It’s not an elephant and it’s not a seal…. it’s an angry elephant seal!

I thought seals were meant to be cute and clap their little fins together while bouncing balls on their nose. But looks at this thing…. “Rrraaa! I’m going to eat you because I’m so ugly and angry!!” And don’t forget fat.

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Angry Elephants

Posted by lanktank on November 17, 2009

What’s the opposite of a happy elephant? An angry elephant!

Rrraaaaa! I’m an elephant and I’m angry!! Actually, listen up. Here is an important piece of advice: Never make an elephant angry. It will never pan out well for you.

 

 

And look at this one: It doesn’t even look like an elephant – it looks possessed! Where are its eyes? It’s so upset…. and angry!

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You Aught To Remember

Posted by lanktank on November 16, 2009

It’s a cool blog; quoting: “Counting the 100 trends, fashions, memes, personalities and ideas that shaped the first decade of the 21st Century.”

Check it out… have a gander and a giggle:

http://www.youaughttoremember.blogspot.com/

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Anyone else? #15

Posted by lanktank on November 16, 2009

Anyone else get those loose pieces of skin at the top of their finger nails, and it hurts? Oh it hurts! Need more calcium.

Anyone else digging the new Paramore album?

Anyone else thinking about bringing the word “Kiff” (or “Kief”) back in? It’s a challenge, yes. But are you up for it?

Anyone else remember anything from Geography class in high school? I mean, I went to class, but what did I learn?

Anyone else ever think about chucking it all in and starting their own beet farm?

Anyone else so not ready for another week of same shite different day?

Happy Monday people.

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Results and Request

Posted by lanktank on November 13, 2009

Results:

Of the September 2009 polls….

And the winner of the “I’d tap that” poll is… drum roll…. DMeister! With his pick of Jennifer Ellison! You remember her, right? She’s from the UK and is not only an actress but a model and potential singer too? Still not? She had the blonde hair and the really big boobs in the white dress? Ah, yes, just needed to jog your memory.

Anyway, second place was FirstChild with Nicole Scherzinger and Kappie’s Pamela Anderson coming in 3rd. C-Dawg was dead last with Ivanka Trump. She scored zero in fact. C-Dawg, you didn’t even vote for her. How do you expect others too?

And for the GIWKOB…. the winner for September…. a TIE! 50% each. It seems the world is equally split between vampires and rugby players. Interesting. Nice contending Luwie… we’ll see what the battle for October brings.

Request:

The October polls are up! Click on the Take Your Pick tab at the top of this page and get a votin’!

I’m going to put it out there. Out of the girl picks: I don’t think DMeister’s going to take this month. October has some stiff contenders and I think we’re in for a surprise.

Prediction for the  boy picks: Luwie has some strong choices. It should be in the bag, but you never know.

Good luck to all. And Godspeed.

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My highlights of the week:

Posted by lanktank on November 12, 2009

- I went to an aKing concert and the singer only bitched about the sound check 8 times as opposed to 26 times like he usually does.

- I made chicken pitas using the Nando’s sauce and it was glorious.

- I attended Hailstorm’s grandfather’s 70th birthday party and they made him a cake with 70 candles on it, which he blew out! All 70!

- I watched ‘Back to the Future’ and still liked it.

- I spent a gift voucher which I’ve had a year to do, and DMeister said I’d forget before the cut off… but he was wrong. I used it.

- My boss hasn’t been at work for 3 days.

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