Ok so I’ve moved into a house-share (how very common sounding) and one of the girls is a psychopathic narcissist. When I went to see the house and meet the girls everything seemed wonderful (the two other girls are fabulous, so is the house) but I’ve been living here for 2 weeks now and I’m starting to feel dangerous emotions towards her.
First story to bring up is the fact that she vacuums the house. After 11.30pm. It’s all very well that she’s cleaning, it’s very pleasant and saves me having to do it, but at 11.30pm? After everyone’s gone to bed? OCD my friends, is what I’m dealing with.
Anyway that weekend she went away (thank God) and without asking if one of us could water it, came back to find that her basil plant had died (estimated cost – £1.29).
Psychopathic Narcissistic Housemate: Oh my God! My plant has died!
Me: Oh no! What of?
PNH: You didn’t water it while I was away!
Me: Sorry, I thought it was going for the dishevelled look.
PNH: I can’t believe you didn’t water it. I’m gone for 2 days and my plant dies. It’s sitting right here, how blind can you be to miss a dying plant! This would have never happened with my old housemates.
Me: Did they die too?
I’m currently hiding out in my room waiting for her to unleash her fury on some other unsuspecting human.
Right, before we get started I’d just like to clarify that this is a GND pick, not an LT one which I’m sure you’re used to by now. I hear you saying ‘who’s GND?’ ‘didn’t she die, like, a year ago?’… okay okay I get it, I’ve been useless to the say the least. You know I love you though darling, and I think about you every day. Like today for example, I saw this picture and I knew you’d love it. You do hey?
After being forced into hibernation until my first pay cheque arrived, I decided to watch every single season of Entourage. What a show. After getting over the fact that I can’t actually be Vincent Chase, I decided I would marry him instead. Our people are talking… it’s only a matter of time now until he realises I’m the one.
I’m alive darlings! I know I know, it’s hard to believe that little old me actually made it to London in one piece.
But lets get straight to the highlight: So I’m waiting for this bus and this guy walks up behind me and asks if he
should be catching this particular bus (asking me, of all people, I’m the one walking around with a map book glued
to my hand).
So I’m about to give him the ‘I’m really sorry I don’t know, I just arrived a week ago’ story, I turn
around, and there’s Patrick Dempsey. Ok maybe not the real Patrick Dempsey but sweet baby Jesus it must have been
his super hot younger twin. Of course I swiftly told him that this absolutely was the correct bus to be catching and
why doesn’t he sit with me and I’ll show him where to get off (haha, see what I did there? Bit much?).
Anyway, I haven’t stopped thinking about him, so obviously I’ve downloaded hundreds of photos of him, so here is
one for you special people!
Random fact for the day: He was diagnosed with dyslexia at age 12 and as a result, he is forced to memorize all his
lines in order to perform. I know, right? What a genius!
Ok I know what you’re all thinking, he’s pretty young and he starred in High School Musical; already 2 points down. But I thought I’d dedicate this to all the tweeny-boppers out there including The Sister (who’s actually older than me, but true love will do funny things to you).
He has said that he would “flip out” if he got a B and not an A in school (bless), and that he was a “class clown”. Always had a soft spot for the funny guys.
I’m not gonna lie, he’s kinda cute don’t you think?
Ok so he’s definitely in my top 5, this guy is so hot it’s actually quite unbelievable.
“My body is a journal in a way. It’s like what sailors used to do, where every tattoo meant something, a specific time in your life when you make a mark on yourself, whether you do it yourself with a knife or with a professional tattoo artist”. – OMG! He’s so arty and stuff!
Watch out for him in the upcoming Shantaram (as Lin) and Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland (as the Mad Hatter).
I don’t think I’ve ever drunk so much or slept as little as I did last weekend. The crew informed me as to what actually went down, bar the little fragments that pop into my head every couple of days. Apparently on Friday night I met the love of my life, but I got bored when he couldn’t stop talking about himself. I woke up on Saturday morning sitting upright in bed with the light on, always a sign of a great night out.
Saturday was interesting, we basically drank Cape Town. You know when you drink too much the night before and no matter how hard you try to get drunk the next night it just doesn’t happen? Ya well that never happened. I remember awesome punch and too many hot boys at a house party in Kalk Bay. There were a couple of drinks in Long Street with the friends who’d just got back from Canada. We were in a poker room at one stage, drinking too many jagermeisters. We watched with excitement while Mr Joburg tried to roll a joint with till-slip paper. We got into an argument with every bouncer who wouldn’t let us into their club. Before we realized it was 3.45am. We ended up in La Reference – do yourself a favour and check that place out next time you’re in Long St, it’s a truly magical experience. We got back to the flat and what an exquisite time that was.
Mr Joburg: (on the phone) Ya bru we just got back, where you? Oh my god Little L your flat is increeeeedible! Little L: What? It’s not mine, it’s GND’s brother’s place. They’re in Joburg. Mr Joburg: I’m in Joburg. Little L: No you’re in Cape Town. Want a pie? Mr Joburg: When did you move to this place? The view is just amazing! Big D: It’s not her flat retard. Eat your pie. Mr Joburg: No offense Little L but you look like a boy in your baby pictures. Little L: It’s not me, it’s GND’s brother. Mr Joburg: Why are you in GND’s brother’s baby pictures? Big D: I think the IFP are coming
On another note, I would like to commend The New Girl on getting her car trapped in the telephone pole at the top of my road on Saturday night. I’m beginning to think she paid for her license as last week, after calling a tow-truck because her car wouldn’t start, they told her it was just the steering wheel that was locked.
Known for his role as Peter Petrelli in Heroes, this is a true hottie that God has so graciously blessed us with.
He’s dated the likes of Hayden Panettiere (cutie!) and Rory from Gilmore Girls. He’s a lacto-vegetarian, non-smoking, non-drinking, sagging mouth – which he reckons is due to dead nerve cells – kinda guy, but I love him.
