The Lank Tank

Why so serious?

Zingara and Couples

Posted by lanktank on January 25, 2009

Dmeister and I went to Madame Zingara on Friday night with Hailstorm and Baino. Hailstorm and Baino are that couple Dmeister and I do other “couply” things with. The reason for this is that they’re one of the few couples out there that don’t irritate the crap out of you.

Granted I’m an item and have been for two years but I still remember the single life, with great fondness I might add, and let’s face it: Most couples suck. They’re either boring or annoying and neither of those emotions I am down with.

There’s nothing worse than a couple who’ve developed “cute” nicknames and voices for each other and then choose to speak this way in public company. And the longer they stay together plus the more you hang out with them; the more they seem to think it’s acceptable to “goo goo” and “gaga” at each other. I’d like to speak for every single person out there when I say: This is not acceptable behaviour. Never ever ever EVER talk like this when there are other people around.

I mean, you want to call each other “Poobear” and “Pingaling” in the privacy of your own home, by all means but as soon as you enter everyday life and you know, standard social situations you go back to being normal human beings with an average IQ. Okay?

There are also those other types of couples, the ones that seem to forget that you’re sitting in the room to begin with. These couples make me want to step off a building. It starts off with three normal human beings in a room having an adult conversation. But within thirteen minutes, your opinion, ideas and eventually voice go out the window and it’s become a 2 person debate, one which certainly doesn’t include the non-couple person in the group. Can you not remember you two aren’t the only people in the world? Self absorbed numb-nuts!

Anyways, Hailstorm and Baino aren’t like this. I think even if Dmeister wasn’t around I could still go out with them, third wheel and all, and have a good time. It’s a rare find indeed.
But, I digress, back to Zingara… it was their second last night as their lease wasn’t renewed so we thought we’d make the most of it and check them out before closing. A fabulous time was had by all and the entertainment was a group called the Step Sisters, who were lovely and could actually sing, which always helps.

Another table sitting close to us was a group of girls, one dressed up in a vale and tiara so it was assumed that this was a hen night. As we were watching the Step Sisters singing R.E.S.P.E.C.T – find out what it means to me – the four of us noticed that the bridesmaids seemed to be having far more fun than the bride-to-be. To the point where they would be dancing and singing along to the Aretha Franklin cover, and bride-to-be would be sitting at the table, by herself, sipping her Tab and looking bored out of her mind.
Baino and Dmeister were horrified at this and said if they ever had a bachelor’s party, they would assure that no one would be having more fun than them. Hailstorm had an issue with the fact that there was no vodka mixed with that Tab and my main issue was… This is the last night of your single, freedom filled life and all you can think about is how much longer do I have to be here before I can get back to James, Johnny or Billy Ray Bob (yes, I’m fairly certain one of those names is her fiancé’s).

Let’s grow some back bone here ladies. Sure, he’s the love of your life and you’ve decided to spend the rest of yours with him (God! That’s like forever), so when you go out by yourself or with your friends, make the most of it. I promise, it may not seem like something you want to do now but you’ll regret it in the future.

OK, that’s my advice and vent column for the week… use this information wisely, I know you will.

Keeping it real,


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