The Lank Tank

Why so serious?

Archive for February 1st, 2009

It’s shallow, but it’s ok!

Posted by lanktank on February 1, 2009

The shallow reasons we have for breaking up with someone; some are excusable…

We’ve all done it, haven’t we? You know it’s not fair, you know they’re probably a great person deep down inside if only you gave them a chance; but there’s that one thing that urks at you, no matter how small or pathetic and you’re never going to let it go.

Don’t feel bad, it’s all in the game. (Omigod, I’m watching way too much Wire, but Omar does rule! However, I digress) And if you are ending this “epic” relationship of three weeks for any of the reasons I give below, you’re not so much shallow but realistic because ultimately the person’s probably a peel. So yes, it may still seem shallow now, but don’t worry ‘cos it’s ok…

Reason 1. You’re a few dates in and one day the two of you decide to go to the beach. He’s wearing a Speedo – Dump, dump, dump.

Reason 2. She orders the most expensive thing on the menu – Look if she’s paying, by all means, however, if that clearly isn’t the intention; at the end of the night, whip out your phone calculator and ask if she needs help adding up her half of the bill. I mean come on; who does she think she is? Gisele Bundchen? (Of course if it really is Gisele Bundchen, then maybe fork out the extra cash… could be a deal breaker)

Reason 3. He or she can’t dance – And I’m not talking about that sort of geeky, kind of endearing type of dancing that you can giggle about and afterwards still find the person adorable. I’m talking about the “it’s so bad, you’re embarrassed to be standing in a 50 metre radius with this person” bad. This species is so rubbish at dancing they should, without a doubt, know they’re that rubbish and then with this information point blank refuse to get onto the dance floor. Even if your potential score for the night is begging you to join them, say NO. Rather look like a selfish dick than an uncoordinated c@nt. Read the rest of this entry »

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