The Lank Tank

Why so serious?

Wednesday, out of the ordinary

Posted by lanktank on February 4, 2009

This blog entry was brought to you by Kappie

Wednesday 08:27AM, I was a couple of minutes late for work, but I managed to get away with it. First thing I like to do is get hold of some that good morning tea…

En route I greet a couple of fellow workers with grim looks on their faces. I figure typical Wednesday morning facial expressions, mid week and all that, nothing out of the ordinary.

Oh, how wrong I was.

I carried on strolling to the kitchen and then there it was, still but waiting in ambush; There, lying on the floor was a condom…used…and it had its contents, spilled, next to it.

It may as well have been a snake that has you cornered and you don’t know which way to run. My first instinct was to maybe try jump over it, reach for the kettle and carry on like normal, but then I had to consider the jump back over it and that would be difficult with a full cup of tea. There was also no way I was going to enjoy my tea while staring at a defiled piece of rubber… with it’s contents spilled, next to it.

As I stood there staring at this condom lying in the middle of the kitchen, it brought a whole new meaning to the hardware store I work at, aptly named, Hardison’s Hardware.

I don’t know how, whoever it was, got away with more than foreplay at the workplace.

I’ve spent the rest of the morning with a watchful eye seeing if anyone has a guilty but happy expression on their face. I started picturing everyone in that kitchen…even my boss! No person should have that picture of their boss on the actual job. NO ONE!

Another obstacle was the fact that our staff kitchen is the size of half a bathroom not to mention how it echoes in there. And then to top it all off they leave the evidence out there in the open as if to say, ‘Catch me if you can’. I’m all for parties, but pant-parties should definitely not happen at the workplace…unless you work at a strip club of course…nice…

I would like to say that an investigation is being carried out as to who has committed this act of nature, but there was no way anyone at our work was going to collect that evidence. Some brave handyman…er…colleague dared to wear some industrial…er…rubber gloves and remove the…er…specimen and flush it away in the toilet.

We lost a lot of good men out there.

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6 Responses to “Wednesday, out of the ordinary”

  1. BeatNic said

    Soooooooo, did you have cream with that coffee?

  2. Girl Next Door said

    jesus christ

  3. craig said

    Haha. Thats rather nasty ey.

    Was the wrapper around?

    As depending on the type of condom, you could perhaps socially analyze the work force, and decide which one you think would be using :

    A. Government condoms – Beyond the realms of cheap.
    B. Lovers Plus – Cheap
    C: Durex – Cautious
    D: flavoured. – Extravagant

  4. FirstChild said

    at least it was safe.

  5. mo said

    I dont believe you. No one can work for a company called Hardmans Hardware

  6. Kappie said

    Well, believe it. Besides we ALL can’t stay students for the rest of our lives like FirstChild.

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