The Lank Tank

Why so serious?

Down with V-Day

Posted by lanktank on February 17, 2009

This blog entry was brought to you by Kappie

Firstly I would just like to say…Valentine’s Day sucks and secondly Jimbo is a knob.

The three shirt plan was a complete disaster, thanks to Jimbo. For some reason I counted on him to bring me a yellow and a green shirt. This of course didn’t happen so I was stuck in my red shirt the entire night.

It was as if I had the plague. The only girl who spoke to me was the bar-lady, who couldn’t even get my drinks order right. Jimbo, on the other hand, had the best night of his life. I’m pretty sure at one point in the evening I saw him making out with two girls simultaneously. When I tried introducing myself to one of his girls he had around him all I got was a fifty to buy a round of drinks at the bar. I evidently did go buy her a drink and on my return, all three of them had left, leaving me without a lift.

I should have used that fifty for a taxi but instead I bought four tequilas and had them all myself. Big mistake. At least it got me on the dance-floor, so things picked up for me just a little. Until the tequila had thought I’d had enough fun for one night, hit me for six and got me kicked out the club for reasons I still don’t know. I walked round the corner and proceeded to hurl my guts out. After a few minutes of what felt like exorcism, I felt a hand on my back. Was it an angel? No, it was not. I looked up and saw a girl in her late twenties but looked like she was in her late forties. Long red, curly hair, layers and layers of black clothing, black chewed up nails, and at least three missing teeth.

She offered to take me home…I really should have specified whose home. DAMN YOU JIMBO!!!


2 Responses to “Down with V-Day”

  1. craig said

    This is…. disturbing.

    I think i just got a lil sick in my mouth.

  2. Kappie said

    I don’t want to talk about it.

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