The Lank Tank

Why so serious?

Crash & Burn

Posted by Carl Schutte on February 19, 2009

This blog entry was brought to you by C-Dawg

OK, so you’re all probably wondering how my Valentine’s Day went.

I decided to stick to my original plan and go the romantic route. I told her we should get together on Saturday, but that we’d probably just go grab some take-out… She seemed fine with this.

However, little did she know, I popped into Woollies and bought a few things before I arrived. I decided to make a simple mixed mushroom pasta with cream sauce, served with fresh greens and crispy Italian bread. I decided a Riesling would be a nice zesty compliment to this meal. I kept a bottle of red on hand for later too.

I also decided to grab 8 red roses, so I wouldn’t arrive empty handed. I figured 12 is too much for somebody I’ve only known 1 week, but 4 might look a bit sparse. 6 felt like you maybe bought a dozen and gave the other half to your mom. Anyway, I settled on 8 red roses. I didn’t get a card; they’re over-priced and I’m trying to save the trees!

Man, was she shocked when she saw me arrive with all of that on Saturday! “C-Dawg, you old rascal,” I said to myself, “you’ve knocked this girl off her feet!” I got her to help me chop a few things; there’s no such thing as a free lunch – or dinner in this case. She seemed to regain her composure after a glass or 2 of wine. Anyway, I thought the meal turned out fantastic; one of my best creations to date.

I remember standing there in her kitchen thinking to myself: “So, this is what this being romantic thing is all about. Doing something thoughtful, taking a chance, showing someone else that you willing to put yourself out there. Maybe this is the new, more sensitive me. More in touch with what women want. This could be the year of C-Dawg…”

Well, to wrap things up, I thought the evening went rather well. We fooled around a bit, but I didn’t stay over. I decided, you know what, I actually like this girl, so why rush things.

I didn’t really get any contact on Sunday, which I thought was strange, but maybe she was just trying to play it cool. Nothing on Monday morning either, so that afternoon I fired off a how-you-doing SMS. No reply that evening. OK, don’t over react, maybe her phone is dead, maybe the network has gone down, maybe she’s passed out drunk. There are lots of rational answers. By lunchtime on Tuesday, I can’t take it anymore, so I decide to give her a call. Wow, she answered.It was one of those bad phone  calls, where you could hear that she felt awkward.

Anyway, long story short, she felt it best that we don’t pursue this any further. She was just looking for a bit of fun and I’d looked kinda cute at La-Med. However, she thinks that I’m clearly looking for somebody to settle down with and that’s just not for her.

Once again, the nice guy finishes last. Ladies, honestly, you ask too much of me!

8 Responses to “Crash & Burn”

  1. craig said

    Ouch. Dude, u went as far as roses, dinner and a romantic smile? And n return you got the bat? Thats harsh. Too harsh.

    I mean, if i was her, i would have at very least given you a mercy shag(not that i roll that way anywho, im straighter than the Nile dude – wait is the Nile even straight? im not quite sure, it is a river, so probably has a few bends. Oh fuck it, you know what i mean.) but not even replying to a simple sms? Thats butchery. Thats unkind.

    I feel a cloud passing overhead. Your pain is my pain. WE are one..

    Okay ill shutup now.

  2. C-Dawg said

    Jeez Craig, be bent in your own time.

    I was hoping you might eventually dig yourself out of that hole…

  3. craig said

    haha i just sympathize for ya. lol

  4. Rox said

    You know, at my ripe old age of 28 I am finally starting to realise that we can never win. The chances of things actually going right seem so small – either the guy will be Just Not Into the girl, or he will be a nice guy, and she won’t be looking.

    Don’t stop being a nice guy though, because as soon as you stop giving a shit, that will be when you meet a rad chick… and then it will backfire because she’s interested.


  5. C-Dawg said

    Hmm, so when she’s not interested you gotta be bad ass, which ultimately makes her interested, then you gotta be a nice guy, which makes her lose interest…

    Man, just when I thought I couldn’t become any more jaded!
    Thanks for the “advice” Rox; as circular & cryptic as it may be…

    C-Dawg is just gonna keep doing what he does, the way he’s always done it and the only way he knows how to do it.
    Write that down.

  6. Luwie said

    I’m with you on that C-Dawg!No wait, you’re single so that’s not working.

  7. Luwie said

    I’m with you on that C-Dawg!No wait, you’re single so that’s not working. I still reckon the best thing to do is simply get them hammered, take them home and then cuff them to your bed. When you leave for work, lead them to the kitchen and cuff them to the stove…

    Mind you, I’m still single so maybe my seemingly flawless strategy isn’t so flawless? Hmph? The mind boggles…

  8. C-Dawg said

    Haha, I think you’re in the wrong post Luwie; perhaps you were looking for GND’s “Paedophile Beards”…

    I feel like I was allowed a rare peek into the mind of true genius (or is it dementia)…

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