The Lank Tank

Why so serious?

Archive for February 25th, 2009

This is why you’re fat

Posted by lanktank on February 25, 2009

This blog entry was brought to you by Kappie

Ahoy there!

Ever felt bad about ‘pigging out’ on that last Rolo, or stealing your little sister’s friend’s ice-cream? (Even though she deserved it for throwing bubblegum in your hair)

Well, here’s a website that might make you feel a little better about yourself or it could do the complete opposite. Either way this has to be seen. Surely no restaurant, vendor or take-away shop could sell these legally? How does one even open their mouth wide enough to even take a bite out of this stuff?

Just have a look and be amazed…

http://thisiswhyyourefat.com/

The McNuggetini just makes me angry. How dare they mix vodka and chicken…AND BBQ sauce!!!!

Posted in - Kappie, Kwaai Links | Tagged: , , , | 2 Comments »

That’s “gold”

Posted by Laurence on February 25, 2009

We here at The Lank Tank are starting a new feature – trying to come up with the worst imaginable standup material. For example, who could ever forget the Seinfeld episode where Jerry starts his bit with “now who’s ready to laugh?” and “what’s the deal with cancer”. And don’t forget Bania’s “Ovaltine” bits…

In this spirit – here’s a swimming bit:

How about those water wings? Tell me, do ducks have water wings, or regular wings? I suppose they must be regular wings cause water wings are more colourful.

And what’s with the weird names for the swimming strokes? I mean, like butterfly? I was so bad at that stroke, I felt like I was trying to fly through butter. I had about as much chance of getting to the other end as actually buttering a fly – little pesky buggers. Never mind the crawl. Another apt characterisation of my swimming abilities. And how about breastroke? I mean, I wish, hey…

Blog: Think you can do worse swimming material? Post your suggestions in the comments

Posted in That's "gold", Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , | 3 Comments »