The Lank Tank

Why so serious?

Driving – you’re doing it wrong

Posted by lanktank on March 3, 2009

What is with The Lank Tank crew and A-Hole drivers?

This blog entry was brought to you by GND

I had the most delightful experience with a fellow driver on Friday afternoon. This woman (mid-forties, driving a Polo) had either had a day from hell or was absolutely hammered.

Stay with me – I need to paint the picture. I was turning right into Second Avenue heading towards Lansdowne Rd. With cars parked to my left and right – making it impossible for two cars to drive past each other at the same time – I edged forward to check for any on-coming cars. After I waited for a bakkie to drive past me, I took my turn, only to be greeted head-on by this crazy woman (Well, maybe not crazy yet but you will see). She had over-taken said parked cars and was now in my lane.

Coming to a forced halt, I now had about three cars behind me, backed up and unable to move. So I waited… Nothing. She starts to gesture with her hands (flicking her little fingers) asking me to reverse my car. Really? I find this slightly odd as a) I’m the one in the correct lane and b) where exactly would she like me to reverse to? So I gesture back (this time flicking my little fingers). This goes on back and forth a couple of times. Slightly frustrated now, I pop my head out my window…

GND: Sorry, could you move back a bit please?

Crazy Biyatch: I WAS WAITING!!

GND: (Now convinced I’m dealing with Freddy Krueger’s sister) Ok, but could you just move a tiny bit back as none of us can go anywhere. It’s also my right of way.

CB: I’m not moving ANYWHERE, I was waiting here first you hear me!

GND: Look I’m open to suggestions all I’m saying is that I’m not the one in the wrong lane here and I’ve got three cars backed up behind me, so even if I was patient enough to reverse for your revolting attitude I can’t.

CB: We can sit here all day because I was waiting first. Now MOVE. Little bitch.

Uh-uh girl, you did not just say that.

I get out of my car and politely tell the cars behind me that CB is currently having difficulty deciding if she wants to move her car or not, and I apologize to them on her behalf. Back in my car now, I smile sweetly at her and light a cigarette.

An entire minute goes by and until suddenly, as if it couldn’t have been any sweeter: CB violently (to make a point) grinds her gears to shit, unfortunately just before reversing full force into the Merc SLK behind her.

The dude in the car behind me actually starting clapping.

She was a bitch, so is Karma.

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3 Responses to “Driving – you’re doing it wrong”

  1. J from J&J said

    Seriously?
    I would have wet myself with laughter! You my hero!

  2. C-Dawg said

    Oh, I do love karma!

    More importantly, could you post a video of how you flick your little fingers?
    Were you just flicking your pinky fingers or are you saying that all your fingers are little?

    You’re not one of those circus folk are you…

  3. Luwie said

    Women drivers. Point taken.

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