The Lank Tank

Why so serious?

Serving Suggestion

Posted by Carl Schutte on March 9, 2009

This blog entry was brought to you by C-Dawg

OK, is it just me or are those serving suggestions you find on everyday food items completely ridiculous?!

Has anybody else looked at these things?

I often like to have a squizz and just laugh at the sheer absurdity. I mean honestly, how much effort do these people think were going to go through?!

Then again, maybe I’m the odd one out; maybe everybody else is actually following these serving suggestions right down to the letter.

I decided to hunt around my kitchen in search of a few gems; I’d love to hear what you have lying around your kitchen.

Ouma rusks:

We have the entire box of rusks thrown out on a table. Then as side accompaniment we have a wooden bowl filled with oats, peanuts & raisins – not forgetting the wooden serving spoon. OK, so basically we’re serving on the side, some of the key ingredients of the rusks… genius, pure genius! Clearly Ouma is a firm believer of never having too much of a good thing.

Finn Crisp Cracker Bread:

Basically just stack 6 cracker breads on top of each other. Then add a rather sad looking dollop of jam, a measly piece of cheese & some tiny bit of a unknown herb as garnish. Cracker bread isn’t the most interesting meal, but this makes it look even more unappealing. It resembles a peasant food of sorts…

Tastic Heat & Eat Indian Meal:

Tastic has real crack team working in their serving suggestion department. Basically they suggest we put the ready-meal in a bowl – of course, normally I just like to stick my face into the packet. Oh, it also looks like there 8 pieces of red stuff and 4 pieces of green stuff scattered on top – I can only assume that this is chilli or regular peppers. That seems to be a common theme – they just show you the serving suggestion –  it’s up to you to guess what’s been added. Essentially you could throw pieces of coloured paper on your meal, as long as it produces the same end product. It’s kind of like when they taught you “new” maths in primary school – it didn’t matter how you worked out the sum, as long as you got the correct answer.

Bisto Gravy Powder:

At least they’ve suggested putting your gravy in a pouring container – that’s some solid advice. However, they’ve also recommended whipping up a pork-roll roast with potatoes, spring onions and carrots – I think there’s even some parsley garnish. So now, if I want just enjoy a nice mug of steaming gravy, I have to whip up a roast on the side!

All Gold Fresh Cut Tomatoes with Garlic, Basil & Origanum:

Basically All Gold are suggesting that you lay out an entire bag of tomatoes (chop a few in half) with cloves of garlic & basil leaves. It has somehow escaped them that the very reason I bought their tinned product, is because I can’t be arsed to do all the hard work.

All Gold Spanish Style Tomatoes:

Here we have a delightful bowl of Spanish paella – I assume that we used our All Gold product to prepare this meal – otherwise what would be the point. However, our bowl of paella is gently nestled in between 3 green peppers, 16 tomatoes, 3 onions, 20 black olives & some strange looking spice leaves. It looks like I’m trying to recreate a Roman banquet… are these people nuts – I’m a freaking bachelor!

Spray & Cook:

Yes, last but not least, we have that stuff that you spray in your pans. Now I was quite surprised to find that this product even had a serving suggestion – after all, I’ve never placed it on the dinner table – I just use it during the food preparation. However, the lovely people at Tiger brands have decide that Spray & Cook is best served with assorted vegetables, a quarter chicken and seared steak (still in the pan). Clearly I haven’t been getting everything I can out of my Spray & Cook.

Anyway, plesse let me know if I’ve fallen off the deep-end this time, but are these really the best suggestions that these people can come up with? Maybe it’s like that weird fashion where people walk around wearing carboard boxes – it’s not meant to be worn, but actually meant to inspire…

One Response to “Serving Suggestion”

  1. Luwie said

    Gold… Spray and Cook has a serving suggestion… Really??

    I’ve always thought the same thing about those serving suggestions…. Oh, I must put milk with my corn flakes… All this time I’ve been having it with chutney…

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