The Lank Tank

Why so serious?

Archive for March 18th, 2009

Shameless runs in the family

Posted by Laurence on March 18, 2009

So the sablogawards nominations process has been extended until today. Thats right, you can still nominate us today. MO, has Dee nominated us yet? Hope everyone had a good Irish day yesterday.

etc,

FC

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Weekend Memories

Posted by Girl Next Door on March 18, 2009

This blog entry was brought to you by GND

I don’t think I’ve ever drunk so much or slept as little as I did last weekend. The crew informed me as to what actually went down, bar the little fragments that pop into my head every couple of days. Apparently on Friday night I met the love of my life, but I got bored when he couldn’t stop talking about himself. I woke up on Saturday morning sitting upright in bed with the light on, always a sign of a great night out.

Saturday was interesting, we basically drank Cape Town. You know when you drink too much the night before and no matter how hard you try to get drunk the next night it just doesn’t happen? Ya well that never happened. I remember awesome punch and too many hot boys at a house party in Kalk Bay. There were a couple of drinks in Long Street with the friends who’d just got back from Canada. We were in a poker room at one stage, drinking too many jagermeisters. We watched with excitement while Mr Joburg tried to roll a joint with till-slip paper. We got into an argument with every bouncer who wouldn’t let us into their club. Before we realized it was 3.45am. We ended up in La Reference – do yourself a favour and check that place out next time you’re in Long St, it’s a truly magical experience. We got back to the flat and what an exquisite time that was.

Mr Joburg: (on the phone) Ya bru we just got back, where you? Oh my god Little L your flat is increeeeedible!
Little L: What? It’s not mine, it’s GND’s brother’s place. They’re in Joburg.
Mr Joburg: I’m in Joburg.
Little L: No you’re in Cape Town. Want a pie?
Mr Joburg: When did you move to this place? The view is just amazing!
Big D: It’s not her flat retard. Eat your pie.
Mr Joburg: No offense Little L but you look like a boy in your baby pictures.
Little L: It’s not me, it’s GND’s brother.
Mr Joburg: Why are you in GND’s brother’s baby pictures?
Big D: I think the IFP are coming

On another note, I would like to commend The New Girl on getting her car trapped in the telephone pole at the top of my road on Saturday night. I’m beginning to think she paid for her license as last week, after calling a tow-truck because her car wouldn’t start, they told her it was just the steering wheel that was locked.

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Gymming Techniques

Posted by lanktank on March 18, 2009

I was at the gym last week – wow, there’s a sentence you don’t hear come out my mouth too often – but I was, believe it or not. Those who know me are going to choose not but I assure you it was true. I felt somewhat inspired, to get into shape last week, so I scraped the dust off the old membership card and went on my way. If only the inspiration had continued to this current week but alas.

Anyway, I was at the gym last week, and I noticed 3 things:

1. The Gym Instructor was fat – Now I’m not one to discriminate but surely, if you’re selling a service and in this case it is: a client pays you to instruct them on how to get fit and lose weight; you really should be living proof that it works. What other bases do people have to go on? As shallow as this sounds. And she wasn’t a little chubby, she was a porker. The first thing people are thinking is, “if she can’t keep herself in shape, how will she get me in shape?” Maybe she is good at what she does and knows all the secret methods of gym techniques but likes to carry some extra baggage around? Unfortunately, people are judgmental mother effers and we don’t think like that.

2. My right arm is longer that my left – I mentioned this in a previous post and I think it’s true. I was busy busting some dumbbells in the weights section (I know, it just gets more absurd) because when I’m older saggy arms actually scares me more than saggy boobs, when I noticed this abnormality. I look skew! I dropped the weights in my panic (the 80 year old man benching 40kg’s in comparison to my 4 was displeased) and went in search of a tape measure. The gym didn’t have one, how bizarre! So as I left I made a, “what kind of gym is this” remark and preceded home on my pursuit to find a measuring device of sorts. *** Read the rest of this entry »

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