The Lank Tank

Why so serious?

Fast And The Furious is back baby!

Posted by lanktank on March 29, 2009

I was at the cinema recently, and among most of the rubbish trailers we seem to be having at the moment, there was one little gem…As it started I thought, “No, it can’t be… I must have de ja vu,” but oh no, it was true: Fast And The Furious is back! And not the crappy Tokyo Drift or Toooooo Fast Tooooo Furious, with none of the old school characters. I’m talking about all the originals are back: Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Michelle Rodriguez…the list goes on!

Not a movie one would think I genuinely liked but on the contrary I was a serious Fast And The Furious fan. I mean, the acting was appalling but that’s what made it so great. And it was “actors” that were in roles that were appropriate to them. I mean, this is vintage Vin Diesel,  unlike the Pacifier or the Dummy or whatever that load of tripe was he attempted. Stick to what you know Vinny and thank God he came to his senses.

All this excitement about a proper Fast and the Furious sequel, got me thinking of the first movie, and all that choice dialogue they had. Again, you think I’m kidding but the amount of lines I remember from that movie… and how badly they were delivered…amazing. I brought it up while socialising with that couple Dmeister and I do things with and I’m not the only one, turns out, we all have our “Most Favourite Fast And The Furious Line” from the movie.

And there were…

Dmeister’s favourite:

Vin Diesel: I live my life a quarter mile at a time. Nothing else matters: not the mortgage, not the store, not my team and all their bullshit. For those ten seconds or less, I’m free.

My favourite:

Vin Diesel: Why don’t you try Fat Burger from now on? You can get yourself a cheese and fries for 2.95, faggot!
Paul Walker: I like the tuna here.
Vin Diesel: Bullshit asshole, no one likes the tuna here!

Baino’s favourite:

Vin Diesel: You almost had me? You never had me – you never had your car… Granny shiftin’ not double clutchin’ like you should. You’re lucky that hundred shot of NOS didn’t blow the welds on the intake! You almost had me?
Extra: You Tell him Dominic. Get out of here
Vin Diesel: Now, me and the mad scientist got to rip apart the block… and replace the piston rings you fried.
[closes bonnet of car]
Vin Diesel: Ask any racer. Any real racer. It don’t matter if you win by an inch or a mile. Winning’s winning.
[Crowd cheers in agreement]

Hailstorm’s favourite:

Michelle Rodriguez: I smell
[sniffs air]
Michelle Rodriguez: skanks. Why don’t you girls just pack it up before I leave tread marks on your face?

Others that we liked but wasn’t our all time favourite:

The Techy guy in the movie: Oh shit! We got cops, cops, cops, cops!

Paul Walker: Mia, I’m a cop.
Vin Diesel’s sister in the movie: What are you talking about, Brian?
Paul Walker: Ever since I met you, I’ve been undercover. I’m a cop.
Vin Diesel’s sister in the movie: Oh, you bastard. You bastard!

Fast And the Furious: New Model, Original Parts… oohhh how awesome is that? I’m ssoooooooo in the ticket line already.

4 Responses to “Fast And The Furious is back baby!”

  1. Rox said

    Hehehe, I also loved it – Paul Walker makes it worthwhile, as did the kickass cars!

    One of those movies I can watch many times and still find it hilariously entertaining.

    The trailer for this new one looks pretty cool… let’s just hope they keep the cheese. 🙂

  2. C-Dawg said

    Ja Rule: It’s not how you stand by your car, it’s how you race your car.

    That is just pure philosophy; it’s more than just a good line, it’s a way to live your life!

  3. C-Dawg said

    OK, so the original was called “The Fast and the Furious”.
    So, the movie was primarily about some speedy people and some angry people.

    Did you have to choose one or the other?
    Were you allowed to change from one camp to the other depending on your mood?
    These really are important questions…

    The new movie is less ambiguous – it’s called “Fast & Furious”.
    Phew, that is one slick title!
    Unless you live in Malaysia, where it’s called “4 Fast 4 Furious”.
    Not quite as punchy…

  4. Luwie said

    Oh no, I have a feeling it won’t be long before we see Paul Walker on hottie of the day.

    By the way, slightly off-topic but I read something interesting about Street Fighter. Did you know that the Balrog character (the boxer) was initially named M. Bison. He was a rip-off of M. Tyson. But worrying it may infringe on intellectual property rights (duh), they made him Balrog, M. Bison took on this name (although he was initially Vega) and Vega (as we know him became) Vega… etc. Although in Japan (less strict copyright laws), the original names are still the same (hence Balrog is M.Bison). Funnily enough, in a recent version of Street Fighter, Balrog says to the fighters “I’ll bite off your ear.”

    Ok, none of my friends here in Jozi found this interesting (in fact, few of them knew what Street Fighter was) but even if just one of you find this cool, my work here will be done.

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