The Lank Tank

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Bacon makes the world go round

Posted by lanktank on April 17, 2009

When I was younger, my cousin and I were eating breakfast one morning while on holiday. Excited to finish up our food and go play in the park, we wolfed down our eggs and as my cousin finished first, she jumped up from the counter and began to run, screaming, “Race you there!”

Not wanting to be outdone, I grabbed my last piece of bacon (I’d been saving this particular piece of bacon for last. This perfectly crisp, delicious and flawlessly fried piece of bacon) and began to run. As I sprinted past the passage, I slashed my knee on a rusty nail. It took a few moments, along with a few F-Bombs from my cousin to realise the severity of the injury. My aunt, overhearing the profanities coming out of my cousin’s mouth, rushed over to reprimand her. Instead she caught a glimpse of the bone in my knee and her lecture, turned into a “Jesus Christ” followed by a “feck me!”

Before being whisked away to the emergency room, my cousin turned me to and asked, “Is there anything you want me to do?” I looked up, then straight into her eyes and in the most serious of tones, I opened my hand and said, “I’m going to need stitches but please save my piece of bacon.”

I never got that piece of bacon; it took me two years and too many family gatherings to find out what happened to the perfect piece of meat, that I still dream about from time to time. Turns out, she fed it to the dogs.

Was I obsessed over the bacon? Perhaps. But I’m not the only one. There are more of us out there! I found this site and it is called: How to use bacon to make your life incredible and amazing. There’s something about bacon that just makes one’s life happier and this website explains how you can use bacon to improve your world even more. I know I’m going to implement this as my new way of life… as soon as I can start affording bacon again.

I especially enjoyed the pictures!! Check it out:

Ubene mpelaveki emnandi!

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