The Lank Tank

Why so serious?

Top 10 Break-Up Clichés – what do they really mean?

Posted by lanktank on April 27, 2009

We’ve said them and we’ve heard them but what do they really mean? This is the unwritten code, “Da Vinci style” for the following break-up clichés:

Break-Up Cliché 1: I think we should just be friends.
Really means: I never want to see you again. If I don’t want to sleep with you anymore, I don’t want to hang out with you anymore.

Break-Up Cliché 2:
It’s not you, it’s me.
Really means: Of course it’s you. I know me; I love me, why would I suddenly not want to be around me?

Break-Up Cliché 3:
You deserve more.
Really means: I’ve lost a bit of weight, got a new haircut and people have noticed. I think I can do better.

Break-Up Cliché 4: I think we should take a break.
Really means: I’m going to go out and hook up with randoms, scope out the new dating scene and hopefully find someone better than you but if not, in a couple of weeks, suggest that we get back together, knowing that we will inevitably break-up again.

Break-Up Cliché 5: I see us more as friends than as a couple.
Really means: I am not attracted to you in the slightest. Seriously, my Aunt Matilda has more sex appeal to me than you ever will.

Break-Up Cliché 6: Maybe if we had met at a different time?
Really means: Maybe if you’d given more head?

Break-Up Cliché 7: Maybe if things weren’t so complicated?
Really means: Maybe if you’d given some head?

Break-Up Cliché 8:
I’m just not ready for a relationship…
Really means: With you. I will never date you… ever. Even if- no, no, no: Never.

Break-Up Cliché 9: I’m not emotionally available right now.
Really means: I like having sex with you but not the talking, cuddling, having to be monogamous to you parts. If I don’t have to do any of that, I will continue sleeping with you when it suits me, until you predictably want more and I will remind you of the “emotional unavailability disorder” I have and point out that this is really all your fault.

Break-Up Cliché 10: I love you but I’m not in love with you anymore.
Really means: In fact I don’t know if, thinking back on it all, I ever did?

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One Response to “Top 10 Break-Up Clichés – what do they really mean?”

  1. Lis said

    ah yes the timeless break up cliche… folks have been using them since Adam gave his rib. We only hear about the great love stories of time. We don’t hear about the girlfriend or boyfriend that was “let go of” in order for the great romance to kick off. The girl shagging Robin Hood before Marion, the monkey business Adam might have been getting into, who was Aladdin rubbing before Jasmine. Sure Sonny was bon-oing on another girl before Cher. People lost in history.

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