The Lank Tank

Why so serious?

Archive for May, 2009

Anyone got deo?

Posted by lanktank on May 20, 2009

So I possibly made a social faux pas the other day at work. I was having one of those days where I’d put a lot of layers of clothing on because I hate being cold and in the morning you can never tell how the weather is going to pan out.

Unfortunately once I arrived to the office, I couldn’t get the clothing to heater temperature ratio right. With my jacket on and the temperature in the office as it was, I was too hot. However, with the jacket off and just my long-sleeve tee and v-neck on, I was too cold. Dilemma.

I decided to leave the jacket on, until the point where I began to perspire… just a smidgen, nothing horrendous, but at that moment, I would take the jacket off.

Feeling just a little aware of the fact that this is a little strange, I turned to the work colleague next to me and quietly asked, “Hey, do you by any chance have some deo I could use?” (I thought, everything should be fine, but just in case, let me put on some protection…anti-perspirant protection.)

Work colleague next to me responds (a little louder than I’d hoped): What do you want?

LT(eh-hem, at a low murmur): Deodorant… do you have any?

Work Colleague: Na, sorry –

And before I could interject, this is what ensued…

Work Colleague (to the rest of the 17 people I work with): Hey guys! Anyone got deo for LT? She’s feeling a little stinky over here.

Before I could even blush, the amount of pithy remarks spewing out people’s mouths was already at an overwhelming rate.

Now every time I walk past someone, they hold their breath, or say things like, “Anyone seen LT?” “Uh ya, can’t you smell, she’s right behind you?”

Great! You feel a little self conscious one time…. and I’m stuck with this forever.

Suppose it will only be a matter of time until I resign now…


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Diff’rent Tastes

Posted by Carl Schutte on May 19, 2009

This entry was brought to you by C-Dawg

OK, so I haven’t really had that much to complain about lately. I don’t know if it’s due to the cold weather or perhaps there’s something in my water. Either way, I’m not going to question it too much, it seems to have had a positive effect on my karma. Why just today, I bought a coffee machine and got R100 off the price due to somebody putting the wrong price on the box. It’s fantastic when you spot that price that just doesn’t look right – normally you expect the item to be priced higher than the others, but every now & then, somebody on the inside does you a favour and underprices the item. Man, is that feeling sweet! So as I say, my karma’s looking good, so until it turns around, I’m going to try to be a nicer person. You know, ride this thing for all it’s worth & all that jazz. Sadly, today’s post is not all about how I got an awesome coffee machine for R100 less than the RRP…

Something I’ve noticed, but I have never Googled, is how different things taste different depending on what you eat/drink them with. Has anybody else noticed this?

For example drinking coke out of a mug just tastes weird; it really tastes best out of a glass.

Eating yoghurt (or some other dairy product) with a plastic spoon tastes different to eating it with a regular stainless steel spoon. Even just tasting your food off the woodedn spoon while you’re cooking tastes slightly different – which probably doesn’t make it a good idea to season your food based on the wooden spoon taste test.

I’ve never tried drinking tea/coffee out of a glass, but I’d imagine that it might taste strange.

Water boiled in the microwave is different to water boiled in the kettle; it almost seems to foam a bit – not sure if I should be concerned about this.

Obviously beer out of the can tastes markedly different to beer out of the bottle.

What about in high school, when your mom gave you cooldrink in that little lunch box bottle; cooldrink definitely tasted different out of that thing! Did anybody else’s mom try to give them coke for school – what a disaster that turned out to be – you only make that mistake once!

Did anybody else every lick the terminals of a nine-volt (PP3) battery – the rectangular one – when they were a kid? It had this weird electrical-metallic taste. Actually, that battery story probably explains a lot…

Seriously though, is it just me or do these things actually taste different?

Maybe you have some other examples…

I can’t understand it, it must be purely psychological; I can’t believe that we’re actually ingesting small bits of mug or spoon when we eat things.

It also doesn’t seem plausible that there’s a reaction occuring, resulting in some sort of molecular reorganisation.

Anyway, let me know. C-Dawg over & out!

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The hypothetical – Superheros

Posted by lanktank on May 19, 2009

If you could be any known superhero who would you be and why?

LT: Storm – She can control the weather. I love talking about the weather. Now, imagine the two combined… I know, kiffness. Also, I could make sure all the pollen is kept far away from me. The pollen count in Cape Town is quite high and I have really bad allergies, so to be able to control that instead of being stuck on Allergex for the rest of my life, would be a real cost saver.

C-Dawg: Iceman – Well, you’re guaranteed to be a hit at parties, even if it’s just to keep the drinks cold. You can also do your famous “walking on water” trick… just like Jesus. The important thing is, you’re getting your foot in the door and that means opportunity to meet babes. Also, you can always put out fires (even the metaphorical ones); chicks love firemen… enough said.

Kappie: First off, I’d be Boobie-man if I could make up a superhero. I’m not sure what powers he’d have exactly, but they would involve boobies. Other than that it would have to be Batman. He’s super even without super powers. How cool is that? Plus he’s a billionaire and I’m sure that black suit will attract some crazy weird, messed up girls. High 5!

FirstChild: Professor Charles Francis Xavier – He controls things just with the power of his big brain. He studied at Oxford. He’s got a cool accent.

GND: I’d be Black Widow – Not sure on the super powers but she has the raddest outfit ever!

DMeister: Think that if I had to be a superhero I’d definitely go with Ironman – He might not be superhero per se, but when he’s in that suit he’s pretty much invincible, and he doesn’t have any negative side effects, like being green or not being able to touch people…etc. He has loads of money but doesn’t have to hide his identity like Batman. And unlike Batman, he actually enjoys his money. He drives fast cars and hangs out with famous models. I don’t know what better past times there could be. So I’m going with Ironman! I might not love the red and yellow colours but at least he can change his clothes and just be a normal guy again.

Who would you be?

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Guess Who’s Single

Posted by Carl Schutte on May 18, 2009

A C-Dawg link

I must admit, I’ve always had a bit of a thing for her and damn does she look good for her age (81).

There’s just something naughty about that bow in her hair… and she’s always got a smile on her face. That’s what I like in a woman…;jsessionid=9EE97F2B78C6CE58062F.504?handle=LadyVirgo67&uid=2200437

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Weekend Plan

Posted by lanktank on May 18, 2009

How was everyone’s weekend? I trust splendid and superb. Although this weather is awfully vomit worthy. Yes, I spoke about the weather, sue me!

My weekend was meant to be a relatively chilled one, as I begin to ease myself in for the final stretch of studying before the big exam. Sounds fun, I know.

Instead, I went out on the town Friday night, stopping off at pretty much any bar along the way. Along the way to where you ask? I didn’t know either…

Saturday; DMeister, Baino, Hailstorm and I decided to visit a wine farm or two. And by “or two” I actually mean, “or 6.” We ended up at our local “once we’ve drunk an entire wine farm, we go there,” restaurant where we continued to drink more wine. You may think it rude of us for rocking up at a public place rather inebriated but the last time we were there, we weren’t, and the owner seemed rather disappointed in us. He queried what was wrong with us and said he didn’t know how to talk to us in this state of mind….uh, sober?

The evening ended up in a smoky pub were we drank beer and watched rugby. Actually I think the evening ended up at the petrol station with eggs and chocolate…

I woke up Sunday morning feeling rubbish but this was all part of my cunning plan. The plan being, I ruined my studying this weekend by going out on a heavy drinking spree. But now, I feel so guilty about it that I’ll work even harder for the last 10 days before the exam. Everytime I want to go out, or decide to watch a little more MTV than I should,  I’ll remember the three days I lost and continue ploughing through the crappy textbook. Thereby, studying more than I would have with the extra three days… which would have involved far more procrastination.

Full proof plan? I think so.

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Anybody else? #8

Posted by lanktank on May 15, 2009

Anybody else’s eye ever get so itchy that they actually consider scratching their eyeball? You never do, of course, but the thought crosses your mind…

Anybody else ever think about the bunny from ConAir?

Anybody else still have Easter Eggs from Easter?

Anybody else actually get Easter Eggs at Easter?

Anybody else ever wonder what it would be like if  Britney and Justin gave it another go of things?

Anybody else feeling the chill?

Anybody else seen that ad on TV – Talk for free on WEEEEEKENDSSSSSSS!! But like between midnight and 5am right? If that’s not encouraging The Booty Call and Drunk and Dialling, I don’t know what is.

Happy Vrydag bafundi!

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Spreading the Awkwardness

Posted by Carl Schutte on May 15, 2009

A C-Dawg find

A friend at work just sent me this:

Brilliant! Check it out…

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Guy I wouldn’t kick out of bed – Christian Bale

Posted by lanktank on May 14, 2009

An LT pick

I can’t help myself, I love him. I know there’s the whole, “he may have beat up his mother and sister” saga and let’s not forget the Terminator tantrum. But come on, he’s Batman!

And he’s hot. I definitely wouldn’t kick him out of bed. I’d be afraid, yes, but wouldn’t kick him out.

christian-baleNote: How I get the friendliest looking picture I can find

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I’d tap that – Amanda Bynes

Posted by lanktank on May 13, 2009

This blog entry was brought to you by Kappie

Calm down LT! I’m here. Back from the sunny skys of Brazil, where the cocktails were flowin- OK, on to more pressing matters:

She’s young, she acts pretty dumb and I want to make her…er…oh, look! A daisy growing in the garden. Who would of thunk it?

Anyway, introducing Amanda Bynes. Contrary to popular belief she is not the young teenager she once was in “The Amanda Show”. No, sir. She is now at a ripe age of 23. This brunette/blonde has held a soft spot in me for years now and although her movies sometimes bite the big one, she gets three thumbs up from me.


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Where did everybody go?

Posted by lanktank on May 13, 2009

Well, I’ve got nothing for you today.

It’s sad, lame and really not your fault either. It’s me… well it’s not me, it’s my “friends…”

GND is in another country and I have not heard a peep since she left. For all I know her visa could have been denied and she’s now stuck on a boat with sheep and geese and on her way to the Colombian border.

DMeister and I are currently not speaking. Something about having cake and eating it too.

FirstChild claims he’s in the middle of exams and apparently they’re “the really important ones.” Uh, ya, over the last 10 years, which have been the non-important ones, because I can’t seem to recall?

C-Dawg is in hiding… something to do with winter blues or women, or blue women. I can’t remember.

And where is Kappie? Kappie! Where are you? AWOL. And I swear to God, if you say Brazil with Marisa Miller, I’ll decapitate your telephone wire nose. I swear to God.

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