The Lank Tank

Why so serious?

Archive for June, 2009


Posted by lanktank on June 22, 2009

A picture by DMeister


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The Hangover Review

Posted by lanktank on June 22, 2009

It’s a Saturday evening and myself and DMeister are still insanely hungover from the night before. Let’s just say not eating supper before going to a free wine tasting festival…still not a good idea.

So, being lame and hungover we thought it fitting to go see a movie called “The Hangover.”

Please, let me just say right now…what…an….AWESOME…film. Truly hilarious. I think we began laughing from the start and didn’t stop until the end.

In case you’re not sure what this movie is about, let me give you a brief description: Four guys go to Vegas for the one guy’s Bachelor Party….and they lose the groom a day before the wedding. The three main actors (Ed Helms, Bradley Cooper, Zach Galifianakis) are truly amazing and hilarious and I usually hate amping movies up because they are always inevitably a let down but I do not think you will be disappointed.

The movie is from the same director as “Old School” and if I were to make a comparison I’d say it’s as ground breaking as “Old School” was when it came out 6 years ago. Humor has evolved and changed over the years and this movie finds that new genre of comedy which I think we’ve all been waiting for. (Am I sounding pretentious? Or like I’m trying to be smart but not pulling it off?)

Whatever ok! It’s funny…so go see it!

Here’s  peak at the trailer… and although it’s funny, it still doesn’t do the movie justice:

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SA Cricket and iPods

Posted by lanktank on June 19, 2009

So…we lost. South Africa: The favourites, the Twenty-Twenty Gods and not to mention the only team in the tournament to win seven matches in a row… are also the chokers. WHY? Why in the semi-final? Not even the final. Another match springs to mind when I think back on World Cup semi-final choking… I dare not mention it but I’m sure we all know exactly which one I speak of.

Despite this, I’m still proud of the lads (that’s soooo cricket! To say, “lads”) and I’m pretty sure we’re still awesome. To be honest, I wasn’t even aware the semi’s were last night until I got to the gym (my monthly visit) after work. I walked over to the cross-trainer, climbed on and began unwinding the earphones of my iPod. At this moment the man next to me attempted to commence a conversation with me. Not one to be rude but also not one fit enough to be able to physically speak while on my cardio workout, I replied with very short answers while clearly displaying the iPod and my intention of using it.

Initially this system worked, for the first 4 minutes anyway. Then, even with my iPod on and the sound to the max, I would notice him talking and then looking at me. I would then have to remove the left earphone out of my ear and shout, “Excuse me?” He would repeat the question; I would answer and continue listening to my iPod.

I was confused. Isn’t there a standard Gym/ iPod etiquette where if you’re choosing to listen to an iPod, you’re not really in conversation mode?

My next strategy was to look straight ahead no matter what. I would stare out of the window intently, as if my life depended on it and not move my neck an inch to the left or right. This, along with Britney blaring into my ears was pretty much the equivalent to wearing a big DO NOT DISTURB sign on my back. Surely?

No, not at all. He just started tapping me on the shoulder. Of course, why wouldn’t he? I know his kind, the personal space invader kind. The kind who like to get up in your face, oblivious to the social norms of daily living, or they’re not oblivious but they don’t care. They don’t give a rat’s tail. They’re like an infection just waiting to spread their little infectious disease. And just before I thought I was going to lose it, he tapped me on the shoulder, I turned around abruptly, red-faced (mainly from the workout though) and snarled, “What?” He looked at me, excitedly and said; “South Africa just got their first wicket.”

And I looked back, smiled and replied, “Thank you for telling me.”

For some reason, all was forgiven.

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Poor George Brownridge

Posted by Carl Schutte on June 19, 2009

George Brownridge

He was a legend for a day.

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I’d tap that – Christina Aguilera

Posted by lanktank on June 18, 2009

A Kappie pick

This week is Christina Aguilera’s turn. Overdue in my view. She may have a baby now, but did you see what the pregnancy did to her…chest? Some serious high 5 material there. She’s also getting better at changing her look than Madonna. And to top it all off you can abbreviate her name in a cool way like Xtina and depending on how little she’s wearing XXXtina. Pretty cool right?


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Guy I wouldn’t kick out of bed – Gael Garcia Bernal

Posted by lanktank on June 17, 2009

A Fakeme pick

GND is AWOL and I’m uninspired, so this week it’s a Fakeme choice. And she has chosen: Gael Garcia Bernal.

A very good choice indeed. Her reasons for choosing him (I’m typing as she dictates over my shoulder) are:

“He’s South American, yum, and was amazing in Motorcycle Diaries. He seems like the kind of guy who isn’t entirely aware of how good looking he actually is which in turn makes him even more good looking. He also hasn’t sold out to Hollywood which is admirable.”

Gael is in the upcoming movie Blindness if you wanna check him out/stare etc.


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Posted by lanktank on June 15, 2009

Or as we know it: That movie being made about the ’95 World Cup.

Here is a link that will lead you to some pictures….

So worth looking at:

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Job Capacity

Posted by lanktank on June 15, 2009

I’m driving around Cape Town and reflecting. Roads are being built, highways being created and stadiums are resurrecting, all in anticipation for the 2010 World Cup. It’s all very exciting and I’m certainly a fan of road improvement, not to mention all the jobs being created with all the building that’s involved. I am thrilled by this, don’t get me wrong, but every morning as I drive towards De Waal Drive and turn my head to review the progress being made as construction continues along the left hand side of the road, I can’t help but ask myself, “What is the point of the flag waver?”

I mean, really? It’s not like I can’t guess that there’s some sort of activity happening on the side of the road. It’s like; “Oohh look! There’s construction taking place. Thank God for that person over there waving a flag. I never would have understood what was going on here just by looking at those massive concrete blocks, bright orange cones and temporary luminous yellow signs. Not to mention the 2 Ton trucks, red tape, concrete pourers, mixers and oh, the 86 people with frikkin’ hard hats on the side of the road!” I never would have deduced all this, not without the flag waver.

It’s just absurd. To have this person standing on the side of the road, among all this chaos waving a flag… back and forth… and back and forth… and bac- God, I’m already falling asleep just writing about it.

Surely there is something else this person can do? Counting grains of sand would be more stimulating and useful than what this person’s job capacity involves. What might the training for this job be? How long would it take? 14 seconds, it would take 14 seconds to complete the training…. “OK Steve, this is what you need to do. Hold this flag, no, not by the material part. You hold it with the stick part of the flag. Yes, like that, and now you wave, swish and swash, swish and swash. Brilliant, you’ve nailed it.”

It really has to be disconcerting to know that if need be your job could be replaced by a pole.

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Dressing of Hair

Posted by Carl Schutte on June 12, 2009

This blog entry was brought to you by C-Dawg

So, C-Dawg is on a few days study leave, but I thought I’d just let my fans know I’m still around.

While sitting here drinking my morning cup of java and listening to some Avril Lavigne – I’m not apologising for liking Avril – I decided to reflect on my recent haircutting experience.

Forgive me if I’ve touched on this topic before; I often ramble on about hairdressers, as I often find a few peculiarities relating to the entire experience.

Now let’s clear things up, most guys would prefer it if a whole bunch of hotties worked at the hair salon. In fact, I believe there’s a place in Johannesburg where they have topless hairdressers. Now on paper this sounds awesome, but would I still be able to be objective?! She’ll be showing me what the back of my hair looks like in that mirror, but I’ll just be checking out her rack. Heck, she could probably shave my head on a number 1 and I’d still tell her it looks awesome! So for me, I’d prefer the lady cutting my hair not to be drop-dead gorgeous…

However, that doesn’t mean the girl washing your hair can’t be tappable. While that scalp massage is somewhat of a contentious issue for me, I still really look forward to it. After all, what could be better than getting a scalp massage from some hottie?! The only problem I have with the scalp massage is that I don’t like to look like I’m enjoying it too much. I don’t want to look like some freak that goes from hair salon to hair salon and gets off on getting his hair conditioned. On the other hand, if they’re doing a good job you want to let them know. I mean, if it feels good, I don’t want them to stop. So, it’s really an endless struggle for me to achieve the perfect balance with the whole hair washing thing.

Now another problem I have is with building up a relationship with the lady who cuts your hair. Read the rest of this entry »

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I’d tap that – Kelly Monaco

Posted by DMeister on June 11, 2009

A DMeister pick

Okay here it is again, I’d tap that. Todays lovely young lady is…Kelly Monaco. If you can’t remember the name, think Principality of Monaco, but much hotter, and nicer to look at.

Her details are: Bust: 34D Waist: 21½ Hips: 31½ (So says Wikipedia) and she’s a actress, model, dancer… like any of that matters…Enjoy!

Kelly Monaco

Kelly Monaco

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