The Lank Tank

Why so serious?

Archive for July, 2009

Another one… and it’s still cool

Posted by lanktank on July 30, 2009

Here’s another trailer for District 9…. can’t wait!

I know I already played the first trailer but this one is even cooler.

Is too!!!

Here, you get see the alien machine thingys… no, it’s nothing like Transformers!

update: Link fixed

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Office 2010: The Movie

Posted by Carl Schutte on July 30, 2009

It’s not often that you stumble across IT jokes that are actually funny, but this was a rare find.

Hopefully y’all enjoy it too – that line is best enjoyed when combined with a southern accent.

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Underrated films I’ve watched and think are underrated:

Posted by lanktank on July 28, 2009

One of my more creative titles I know.

Here are some films I think should have been given more praise than received. (Unless they were and I’m just under a rock):

Go – Awesome film. I’m not sure why this didn’t get the credit it deserved. I think it’s because it came out at the same time as like 4 other teen movies and just got slumped on the pile. Except this isn’t a teen movie. Not at all. And I’m pretty sure it’s the best thing Katie Holmes has ever been in. It’s funny, it’ll have you gripped and it’s one of those movies that’s shot from different people’s perspective… but not in a shit way.

Rounders – The movie about poker with Matt Damon and Edward Norton. I thought this was a great film. Great dialogue and cool poker game scenes. A solid viewing.

Bowfinger – Possibly the funniest movie I have seen both Eddie Murphy and Steve Martin in. The story is about a director who goes about making a movie with a really famous actor, except the actor isn’t aware he is in the film. There’s a scene when someone has to cross a highway… I remember almost peeing in my pants.

Rules of Attraction
– Based on a book and certainly not one to watch with the parents, Rules of Attraction is quite the graphic movie. Funnily enough, also shot from different perspectives of people and also starring an ex-Dawson’s Creek character which I consider their best role yet (James van der Beeck). This movie is really cool to watch. In the first 60 seconds you may feel like retching but that’s the worst it gets.

Death To Smoochy
– A black comedy about a host of a children’s television show getting fired for taking payola and decides to plot revenge against his replacement, a rhino named Smoochy. There were moments in this movie where I cried with laughter. Tears actually streamed down my face. I heard it tanked in the States (which I get) but it was gold. It had big names in it too: Danny DeVito, Edward Norton, Catherine Keener, Robin Williams (funniest he’s ever been) and Jon Stewart.

Ok, that’s five for now but there must be more. Maybe we’ll do this again sometime. That’s sounds very vague… like at the end of a date; “Maybe we’ll do this again sometime.” What does that mean? Will we do this again? Or are you ending this politely?”

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What a great idea

Posted by lanktank on July 27, 2009

A Kappie find

Real men of genius is right my friends. If you’ve just finished school and have no idea what to study…have a look at this clip and hopefully a career path will suddenly spring to mind.

I salute him… as you should too.

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Guy I wouldn’t kick out of bed – Brett Novak

Posted by lanktank on July 24, 2009

Ok, so literally having no inspiration at all, I typed into Google Images search engine: “Hot Model…” which was stupid because of course 20 000 female pictures came up.

So, I back-spaced and typed in “Hot Male Model…” And this is the first guy that appeared – Brett Novak.

I know absolutely nothing about this guy, except that his name is Brett Novak and he is a male model.

Isn’t he perfect?

I think he might be.


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I’d Tap That – Miranda Kerr

Posted by Carl Schutte on July 23, 2009

A C-Dawg pick

Why do we like her? Well, she’s a Victoria’s Secret Angel. She also an Aussie and rumoured to be quite friendly – I love Aussie girls!

I’m pretty sure I remember her from some Maybelline commercial too. Although in Miranda’s case, she was definitely born with it…

She’s quite spiritual and practices a form of Buddhism – hey, I’m down with the yoga & the meditation – it might take some time to get accustomed to the chanting though.

Of course, she’s also really hot with slight cute edge – is it wrong for me to want her to wear a schoolgirl uniform?

In fact, the only thing I don’t like about Miranda is her choice in men; she currently seeing Orlando Bloom, who, quite frankly, I think is a bit of a batty boy.

Miranda Kerr celebrity profile

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Remember the Classics – Lunch Bar

Posted by lanktank on July 22, 2009

“I am a Macintyre from Glasgow, what kind of a Maccer are you?”

“I am a Macintini.”

“Macintini? Ah, from Edinborough I suppose.”

“Noooo, from Maritzborough!”

The tug of war, in the little Scottish kilts….. A CLASSIC!

And he was so little against all the other fatties but so strong because of the Lunch Bar… you see; size really doesn’t count…when it comes to tug of war.

Speaking of tug of war: Is it “Tug Of War” or “Tug ‘O War?”

I’ve always said “Of” but I’m open to the possibility of being wrong on this subject matter.


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The Order of the Phoenix

Posted by Carl Schutte on July 21, 2009

OK, while it’s fresh in my mind…

Let me say that I have no intentions of becoming a Pothead, but I actually quite enjoyed this movie. Sure, it had more than a few lame parts, but finally we got to see some real magic.

It starts off with some Dementors – always good to start with some soul sappers. This movie might hold some promise…

Then we had Harry’s brief trial, which felt like a bit of a non-event for me. Great, so Harry gets to go back to school and not become a drop-out, destined for a career as a prop comic at children’s parties. Where was I?

Ah yes, our trendy trio arrives at Hogwarts. Harry’s taken a hallucinogenic of sorts and is seeing demonic horses pulling carriages. Thankfully our dear Luna assures him that he’s quite sane. Now, let me just take a moment to say what a delightful character Luna Lovegood is. Finally JK Rowling gets it right. She’s quirky, yet kind and absolutely enchanting. I really love this character; she made the movie for me. Also, I was very disappointed in Hermione, who seems very quick to call other people names. Just because Luna is driven by intuition and feeling (something which Hermione can’t learn from a book) is no reason to call her Looney!

Then we’re introduced to a very annoying female teacher – I could easily have done without seeing this old tart for most of the movie. Then there’s the whole Hogwarts takeover while Harry secretly teaches magic. The only thing I don’t understand, is when did he learn all these spells that his friends can’t do?! Hermione’s always reading – what the hell is she reading about all the time? What exactly is her forte? I’m not entirely sure what Ron does either really. He’s like that really good friend who’s actually a dumb-ass, but he’ll always do you a solid.

Oh, I almost forgot! How lame was Harry’s kiss with Cho; “Mistletoe, did you just make that grow? Harry, you dog…” Oh, here’s a pointer for you Harry. When you kiss a girl, don’t stand half a metre away from her and lean in with your arms behind your back. You look like a chicken pecking at some seeds. For god’s sakes man, get up close to your woman, maybe plant one hand on her ass and stroke the other through her hair. I don’t care if they’re only 16 – it’s the principle! Read the rest of this entry »

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LT Away – New Rules

Posted by Laurence on July 20, 2009


LT is away and she’s left me in charge. It’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for. So, for the next few weeks there are going to be some new rules as I try to raise the level a bit around here.:

1) Subject matter: I was thinking that we don’t have enough discussion here about the global financial crisis, international politics, fine arts or 19th century Russian literature. Feel free to contribute any material on the above for consideration by emailing lanktankstuff (at) gmail (dot) com, or put your suggestions in the comments;

2) Comment policy: No lewdness. Complete sentences only. No text message style shortening of “wrds”. The aim here is for a level and tone of dialogue equal to say that of an academic seminar, a parliamentary committee meeting, or a court hearing. Comments that add to the post and discussion will be retained; comments that detract from the level and/or tone will be deleted.

3) Comment policy on weekly “Guys I wouldnt kick out of bed” and  “I’d tap that”: Please keep it clean, Jimbo. We are here to celebrate beauty, there is no need to be coarse.

4) Fun: Everyone is invited to have fun!

Please feel free to comment on the new rules in the comments. But note that the rules start now.

yours sincerely,


Posted in - FirstChild | 5 Comments »

Rappers have feelings too

Posted by lanktank on July 20, 2009

Have we all heard of Flight of the Conchords? I’m sure I’ve mentioned it.

Such a cool show and I implore all of you to find a way and watch it! I remember watching this show for the first time… I was by myself and at one point actual tears came streaming down my face.



I’m kinda crushing on Jermaine and Fakeme likes Bret, so if we were to double date, it would be like totally perfect!!

Here’s the video from their song, “Hurt Feelings.” It’s from the second season and it’s a goodie:

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