The Lank Tank

Why so serious?

Archive for August, 2009

The Armshelf

Posted by Carl Schutte on August 31, 2009

Some humour from Awkward Family Photos.

I love how Mr Serious gets singled out…

Also, I think the little kid might be going into hypothermia.

Boyz II Men

Boyz II Men

Don’t judge them just because they’re judging you.

They’re Baaack…

They're Baaack

And with a whole new attitude. Well, except for you, guy on the left.

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They’re cats and they look like Hitler

Posted by lanktank on August 30, 2009

So I’m sitting in the TV room with FirstChild and we’re flicking the remote back and forth between the two movie channels. The movies in question are Blonde Ambition starring Jessica Simpson and Luke Wilson and My Super Ex-Girlfriend starring Uma Thurman and guess who? Luke Wilson!

This could be the worst hour of both our lives. These are possibly the worst 2 movies I have ever sat through. We’re trying to establish why they’re so bad. Is it the acting, direction or possibly the writing? Story line is abysmal.

The one with Uma Thurman is marginally better but I think it’s because Jessica Simpson makes me want to cut my own arm off. And shame on you Luke Wilson, what were you thinking?

This is my Public Announcement for the week: NEVER WATCH THESE MOVIES, EVER…. EVER…..ever.

Something far more enjoyable: Cats that look like Hitler!!!

Check it out: http://www.catsthatlooklikehitler.com/cgi-bin/seigbest.pl?1

It will definitely make you chuckle….maybe just a little.

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Guy I wouldn’t kick out of bed – Fabio Cannavaro

Posted by lanktank on August 28, 2009

A Luwie pick

Due to my belief that LT and GND don’t have great taste in men, (except of course Dmeister) I have been permitted to enter my own Guy I Wouldn’t Kick Outta Bed entrants… although of course I would in case you are wondering.

And first up, Italy’s Soccer World Cup-winning captain and FIFA player of the year 2006, Fabio Cannavaro. Every guy in the world wants to be him cos every woman in Italy would shag him. Enough said.

image001

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Spirit – who’s got it?

Posted by lanktank on August 27, 2009

We’ve got the spirit

Yes we do,

We’ve got the spirit,

How about you?

We’ve got the spirit

Yes we do,

We’ve got the spirit,

How about you?

We’ve got more,

We’ve got more,

So what the hell you shouting for?

High school House wars… those were intense.

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I’d Tap That – Holly Weber

Posted by Carl Schutte on August 27, 2009

She’s an actress, a model and she has nice hair. That’s right, here at The Lank Tank we also choose women based on their lovely flowing hair.

Holly has been quoted as saying that she liked to dress in skimpy clothing and go dancing… Well, I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m sold.

Granted, this glamour girl isn’t a regular C-Dawg pick – usually we leave them to the DMeister, but I stumbled across her and she caught my eye.

Oh yes, I almost forgot… I actually wanted to post this pic, but it’s a bit too big: http://www.vivagoal.com/images/wallpapers/Holly-Weber-2.jpg

Hard to believe she’s only 24 – I wonder if she’s looking for an older man in her life…

Holly Weber celebrity profile

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Chat speak

Posted by lanktank on August 26, 2009

We’ve seen over the last few years a new language being formed when it comes to chat rooms, Facebook, MySpace and even texting over the phone.

Due to limiting characters or just wanting to type really, reeeeally fast, we have developed this global language where certain phrases and words have been abbreviated.

All in all, I’m fine with this, most of the time it just makes sense and we all know what everyone is talking about, although you do get those people who take it a tad too far, for example:

wif = with
dat =that

Ridiculous. I’m no connoisseur but isn’t this the ultimate butchering of the English language? And for what; to save one letter?

However, when you’re chatting to someone over Skype or msn, I understand that typing, “LOL” or “TMI” is far more practical than having to spell each and every single word out. We’re fast paced people living in a fast paced world – got to save time any way we can.

The issue I have is when you’re not on the computer but rather having a conversation face to face with a human (you know, not a puppy or giraffe, in case you were confused) and these acronyms start coming out of the person’s mouth…

Example 1:

Girl 1:    “Yesterday, I ran over a cat!”
Girl 2:    “OMG! Are you ok?”

The issue I have here is that actually saying the letters, “O.M.G.” takes 0% quicker than just saying the original words, “Oh my God.” So just say the whole thing.

Example 2:
Guy 1:    “…and then he bails over the barn!”
Guy 2:    “LOL!”

Why would you say “LOL?” LOL by definition means: LAUGH OUT LOUD. So if you are physically laughing loud enough for the person standing next to you to hear, you’re by default fulfilling the purpose of LOL. No need to say it!

Example 3:

Girl 1:    “I’ve eaten 200 hotdogs in one sitting.”
Guy 1:    “WTF?!”

Who would say this? If you’re so shocked at something that you feel it deserves an F-Bomb; then say the F-Bomb! There must be nothing less satisfying than substituting a crappy letter for one of the greatest words of our time. Come on, say it! You know you want to.

I’m just saying…

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Best Toilets

Posted by lanktank on August 25, 2009

I’m not sure what it is about toilets or bathrooms but everyone love a cool cubicle. Perhaps it’s because we see so many God awful ones that we learn to appreciate the places who put effort into their lavatories…. or maybe it’s just me?

Here’s a link with 35 of the coolest toilets out there…. you know you’re going to check it out…. you know you will:

http://www.manofest.com/Galleries/Bizarre/The-35-Coolest-Toilets-In-The-World/The-35-Coolest-Toilets-In-The-World_22-5861.html#joomimg

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How good a friend are you?

Posted by lanktank on August 25, 2009

There are some things that need to be said in certain situations about one’s personal hygiene and because you’re a good friend of theirs, it’s ok. There are also some things you’re allowed to tell someone, even if you’re not good friends with them. However, there are some things, if you are not good friends, should definitely not be said.

Let me explain:

You have an eyelash on your cheek – This you can say to anyone: A close friend or someone you just met that night. It may be a tad uncomfortable to someone you don’t know but it is still a situation you can work through. You can even suggest that they, “make a wish,” blow the eyelash away and the conversation can pick up where it left off.

You have something stuck in your teeth – This must definitely be said to a close friend and only maybe can be said to an acquaintance. It’s one of those situations where it depends what mood you’re in. Do you feel like going through the effort of telling the person they have spinach in their teeth and then proceed to help them as they attempt to try and pick it out; “Did I get it?” – “No, it’s the tooth next to that one.” – “Ok, how about now?” – “Almost…”

You get my point.

Your fly is down – This can be for anyone. Except if it’s your boss or a friend’s parent. But if you consider them “on your level,” close friend or not; it’s ok to say because it’s not like you’re saying, “I can see you private bits!” You’re just pointing out that their zip isn’t fastened.  XYZ!

You have a boogie in your nose –
For close friends only. This isn’t something strangers should be telling each other. Even to be helpful. It’s just not necessary because unfortunately, even though it happens to us all, when you’re talking to someone and you see a green snolly hanging by a thread out of their nostril, it doesn’t matter what they do, you’ve lost respect. So why bother telling them? Because even if you do tell them and they go blow their nose, they don’t winyour respect back. Rather save them the embarrassment and evacuate the conversation when you can.

You have sweat patches – This is a sensitive subject for some but it depends on the approach. You’re allowed to tell a good friend that they have sweat patches… not, that they smell. To tell someone they have sweat patches, (if they don’t already know) is helpful to them and they can go change their top. If you’re trying to tell someone that they have serious B.O. this is a matter far more delicate to handle. It’s a one on one conversation and you need to be a BEST friend. Once you tell them that they have a B.O. problem, you will need to immediately produce solutions to this problem for them, making it sound easy and fixable and to finish, you must have a list of self-esteem boosters that you can compliment them with, thereby not making them hate you.

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25 Awesome Homeless Guy Signs

Posted by Carl Schutte on August 24, 2009

Not much more than something funny to look at whilst at work:

http://www.holytaco.com/25-awsome-homeless-guy-signs

Very creative… well done.

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Remember the classics – Vaseline Intensive Care

Posted by lanktank on August 24, 2009

“Sometimes your skin is so dry…”

Come on, say it with me:

“You can actually write on the word… DRY.”

Simple but effective.

And since then we’ve all had those dry skin days and found ourselves scribbling the word “Dry” onto our forearm with our nail. And it’s from that Advert. And we all remember and then we all laugh.

Once the lady lathers herself in cream, she tries to write it on her arm again but guess what? She can’t! Because her skin is all lovely and moisturized. Amazing!

And what’s even more astounding, is that I don’t remember the middle-aged woman in the advert ever mentioning Vaseline… but somehow I just know that it is.

Now that’s a classic.

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