The Lank Tank

Why so serious?

The Jellyfish

Posted by lanktank on August 4, 2009

So I got stung by a jellyfish. Not the most fun I’ve ever had, that’s for sure. I remember it like it was yesterday but it actually happened last Thursday. Which makes it five days ago – But the memory is so vivid in my mind that it’s like it just happened… but it didn’t, it’s been almost a week. So just to clarify: Feels like yesterday but really was last week.

Just want us all to be on the same page.

It started out as the perfect day. The sun was out; the wind was light and as we all climbed in the boat, there was nothing but excitement and the open seas ahead. Humpback whales were frolicking, fish were leaping, the water was clear and laughter was in the air.

“Oh, what a beautiful place,” we were all saying. OK, we weren’t saying that but I’m setting a mood here. The driver of the boat and his assistant were with the four of us. They were not so much with the talking and the English but they made sure we got to see all there was to see.

As we got to the reef they recommended we jump out and have a snorkel. We all dived in, hopeful to find whale sharks, dolphins, coral and all the other sea life from that movie: The Little Mermaid.

I started swimming from the one side of the reef and made my way down to the other side. I must have been about three quarters of the way and I remember thinking to myself, “I wonder if this is where Ariel hung out,” when suddenly a paralyzing pain shot through me and the left side of my body was covered in blue and white tentacles. This is what ensued:

LT: Help!

Nothing.

LT: I’m saying help.

DMeister from the distance looks up: What? You see a whale shark? Where? Let me see.

Begins swimming over

Baino: No I think she said she’s hungry.

LT: I need to get on the boat!

Boat pulls up, DMeister has swum over by this point.

DMeister: What is this blue gunk all over your arm? Gross.

ALL:Eeuuwww.

LT: Shut up, help me up.

The pain was, for lack of a better description: Fucking sore. But the driver and assistant knew what to do. As they began picking the tentacles off me the assistant whipped out a bottle filled with what looked like a yellow liquid. Now, I’ve watched Friends just like everybody else and remember when Monica got stung by a jellyfish and Chandler had to pee on her? So of course when I see the bottle, the first thing I ask is, “Eh-hem, I know I’m in agony but what exactly are you about to pour all over me?”

After some charades I realised it was vinegar.

I wanted to cry, the pain was THAT sore, yes. But then I thought about crying among friends and strangers in an open boat; nowhere to hide or for people to pretend not to notice that I was bawling my eyes out. I’d go puffy and red and just look unattractive in general. It would all be so awkward for me and everyone involved, thus I declined the consideration to myself to burst into tears and stuck it out for the rest of the trip.

I know; I’m super hardcore.

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3 Responses to “The Jellyfish”

  1. FirstChild said

    This is even better than that time you cut open your leg on the rusty nail. Awesome.

  2. mo said

    sorry, but the best when that mole just ran over and bit her.
    that was really freakish

  3. Ron Adley said

    New 1st aid product for jellyfish stings…proven effective…life guard/beach rescue and EMT field tested worldwide…it works get it a http://www.stingmate.com available at beach kiosks, retailers, surf and dive shops…good luck and take care..

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