The Lank Tank

Why so serious?

Tales of a roomie – Episode 1

Posted by Girl Next Door on August 17, 2009

GND tales

Ok so I’ve moved into a house-share (how very common sounding) and one of the girls is a psychopathic narcissist. When I went to see the house and meet the girls everything seemed wonderful (the two other girls are fabulous, so is the house) but I’ve been living here for 2 weeks now and I’m starting to feel dangerous emotions towards her.

First story to bring up is the fact that she vacuums the house. After 11.30pm. It’s all very well that she’s cleaning, it’s very pleasant and saves me having to do it, but at 11.30pm? After everyone’s gone to bed? OCD my friends, is what I’m dealing with.

Anyway that weekend she went away (thank God) and without asking if one of us could water it, came back to find that her basil plant had died (estimated cost – £1.29).

Psychopathic Narcissistic Housemate: Oh my God! My plant has died!

Me: Oh no! What of?

PNH: You didn’t water it while I was away!

Me: Sorry, I thought it was going for the dishevelled look.

PNH: I can’t believe you didn’t water it. I’m gone for 2 days and my plant dies. It’s sitting right here, how blind can you be to miss a dying plant! This would have never happened with my old housemates.

Me: Did they die too?

I’m currently hiding out in my room waiting for her to unleash her fury on some other unsuspecting human.

3 Responses to “Tales of a roomie – Episode 1”

  1. DMeister said

    What’s her problem, now she’s got dried basil.
    She should be thanking you.

  2. Luwie said

    I dont even know how to type the pound sign on my keyboard but for future entries, please speak in South Africanese.

  3. C-Dawg said

    I was once at a house party where we were so drunk that we tried to smoke dried basil. It didn’t work so well, so we all went for a swim. It’s somewhat of a similar story in that it also involves basil and water. As for the alcohol… get the house-mate drunk, that should take the edge off for her. Just buy a water filtration system and hook it up to a bottle of vodka…

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