The Lank Tank

Why so serious?

How good a friend are you?

Posted by lanktank on August 25, 2009

There are some things that need to be said in certain situations about one’s personal hygiene and because you’re a good friend of theirs, it’s ok. There are also some things you’re allowed to tell someone, even if you’re not good friends with them. However, there are some things, if you are not good friends, should definitely not be said.

Let me explain:

You have an eyelash on your cheek – This you can say to anyone: A close friend or someone you just met that night. It may be a tad uncomfortable to someone you don’t know but it is still a situation you can work through. You can even suggest that they, “make a wish,” blow the eyelash away and the conversation can pick up where it left off.

You have something stuck in your teeth – This must definitely be said to a close friend and only maybe can be said to an acquaintance. It’s one of those situations where it depends what mood you’re in. Do you feel like going through the effort of telling the person they have spinach in their teeth and then proceed to help them as they attempt to try and pick it out; “Did I get it?” – “No, it’s the tooth next to that one.” – “Ok, how about now?” – “Almost…”

You get my point.

Your fly is down – This can be for anyone. Except if it’s your boss or a friend’s parent. But if you consider them “on your level,” close friend or not; it’s ok to say because it’s not like you’re saying, “I can see you private bits!” You’re just pointing out that their zip isn’t fastened.  XYZ!

You have a boogie in your nose –
For close friends only. This isn’t something strangers should be telling each other. Even to be helpful. It’s just not necessary because unfortunately, even though it happens to us all, when you’re talking to someone and you see a green snolly hanging by a thread out of their nostril, it doesn’t matter what they do, you’ve lost respect. So why bother telling them? Because even if you do tell them and they go blow their nose, they don’t winyour respect back. Rather save them the embarrassment and evacuate the conversation when you can.

You have sweat patches – This is a sensitive subject for some but it depends on the approach. You’re allowed to tell a good friend that they have sweat patches… not, that they smell. To tell someone they have sweat patches, (if they don’t already know) is helpful to them and they can go change their top. If you’re trying to tell someone that they have serious B.O. this is a matter far more delicate to handle. It’s a one on one conversation and you need to be a BEST friend. Once you tell them that they have a B.O. problem, you will need to immediately produce solutions to this problem for them, making it sound easy and fixable and to finish, you must have a list of self-esteem boosters that you can compliment them with, thereby not making them hate you.

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