The Lank Tank

Why so serious?

Archive for September, 2009

TV shows I wish never came to an end

Posted by lanktank on September 29, 2009

I’m feeling a real lack of good, solid TV shows lately. Maybe it’s because I haven’t had much chance to get in to new shows, due to my extensively busy social life (that’s kind of a lie.. and by “kind of” I mean, is) but there isn’t one “must see” show that I HAVE to watch every week anymore. (Except 24, but Jimbo gave me the whole series now, so I don’t need to commit).

I miss the days of solid shows; when TV was my life. This may be sad, but I loved it.

Anyway it got me thinking about some of the shows I used to be addicted to, and how great it would be if they were still here, among us…living…

Seinfeld – Since I spoke about it earlier: This was the series which the whole family would come together for. Every Thursday night (I don’t really remember the day), Mother, Father FirstChild and I would gather around the TV set, to see what crazy antics those silly New Yorkers would get themselves into this week… oh how we chuckled. And still quote catch phrases from that show, even now I might add.

The West Wing – I may be wrong, but this was a relatively underrated show in South Africa. I say this, because I don’t think I know anyone else who used to watch it. This was a classy production. Great writing, acting, the camera shots, drama and comedy all rolled into one! I also learned a lot about politics and the American constitution during this show…so…. educational.

Roswell – I don’t think I really need to divulge. It was amazing – enough said.

The Wire – Like possibly the smartest and coolest show I’ve ever watched. Ever. Bloody shame it’s no more.

Arrested Development
– This could have been the funniest show I’ve ever and will ever see.  It was a tight call between this and…

The Office (UK) – Although if I’m going to be honest, I don’t think I would want to see another season. Don’t get me wrong, The Office (UK) is possibly the greatest show ever made and I was devastated when it came to an end but it’s because it did end at that moment, with such perfection that makes it the pedestal for all TV shows forever more.

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Seinfeld reunion baby! Sorta…

Posted by lanktank on September 29, 2009

They’re back! Well back together on one set at least! The entire cast of Seinfeld will be in season 7 of Larry David’s Curb Your Enthusiasm – trying to put a Seinfeld Reunion Show together… but there are some hiccups.

It’s a genius idea.

It’s going to awesome and I can not wait! Here are some sneak previews…

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A definite watch

Posted by lanktank on September 28, 2009

This video is gold! Not The Lank Tank’s version of “Gold” real gold… like Fort Knox gold…

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Movie Madness

Posted by lanktank on September 28, 2009

So I went into a DVD shop the other day looking for the movie…. Step Up 2. Obviously with a movie like this, and being 25 years of age, you don’t want to bring too much attention to yourself. You need to walk into the place, look like you know exactly what you’re doing, grab the product in question and get out, avoiding all eye contact at all times.

I tried to make this operation as quick and shameless as possible but I couldn’t find the mofo thing!

Knowing at this point I’ve lingered far too long, I look up to see the sales assistant slowly sauntering over in my direction. I began to panic, various thoughts running through my mind when suddenly that classic “Devil vs. Angel” on the shoulder scenario popped up:

Devil: “OK, you need to lie.”
Angel: “No, don’t lie; you came all this way to the shop to get a specific DVD.”
Devil: “Yes, but you’ll look pathetic.”
Angel: “So? You don’t know this sales assistant. Maybe he likes shite movies too, and if not, who cares. You’re your own person.”
Devil: “He’ll think you’re a loser.”
Angel: “You’ll be true to yourself. And that’s the most important thing.”
Devil: *cough* “Dorkface!” *cough*cough*

Time was up – The sales assistant had arrived:

Sales Assistant:
May I help you with anything?
LT: Ummmm, yes, I’m looking for….  the movie… (way too long a pause) Schindler’s List.
Sales Assistant: Oh sure thing. Just follow me; you’re totally in the wrong genre section.
LT: Oh, am I?

Sales Assistant and I walk over to the Drama area of the store and find Schindler’s List.

Sales Assistant: Here you go.
LT: Great, thanks so much. Oh, and also, almost totally forgot. Um, do you have that movie, what’s it called now? Step…Up…2? It’s, uh, for my little sister. (Cue: LT’s forced laugh and lame attempt to roll eyes)
Sales Assistant: (With a little too much attitude I feel) Ya, (snigger) we have that too. (Grabs the DVD and basically throws it at me.)
LT: Thanks.

I paid for both movies and pretty much ran out of the store…

Devil: “He so knows.”
Angel: “LT, you disappoint me! You don’t even have a little sister.”

LT: Shut up both of you!

The evening was a long one.

Step Up 2 was the bomb though! Totally worth it!

Schindler’s List…. average 🙂

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I’d tap that – Ivanka Trump

Posted by Carl Schutte on September 25, 2009

Somehow I missed the boat on this one. I guess it’s because I don’t watch much television & don’t really follow celebrities lives.

Imagine my surprise when I was surfing the internet & stumbled across a picture of Mr Trump & his super hot daughter!

She’s intelligent, beautiful, elegant and considers herself a bit of a bookworm. I love how she can transform so easily from glamour to a simple “girl next door” look. *sigh* I think I’m in love… Alas, it’s not to be for she is engaged. She even converted to Judaism for this guy, so I think it might be serious. I’ll always wonder about what we could have been Ivanka…

Ivanka Trump

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Happy Heritage Day!

Posted by lanktank on September 24, 2009

Happy Heritage Day!


Celebrate your cultural heritage!

Promulgate your South African identity!

Braai that meat!

Chicken wings!


Tomato and onion relish with hotdog rolls from Woolworths!

Potato on the braai.

Salads and braai-broodjies.

hhmmm…. lamb chops….


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Anyone else #13

Posted by lanktank on September 23, 2009

Anyone else rip their entire nail on their finger…. off? (OK, it wasn’t the entire nail, but like half and that’s still gross).

Anyone else ever walk into a toilet cubicle and it stinks but you can’t turn back because the queue is really long. And then when you come out you make a comment like; “Man it’s bad in there!” Just to emphasise that it wasn’t you who made the smell so the next person who walks in afterwards doesn’t think it’s you and run back to all her friends to tell them while she points and laughs.

Anyone else braaing for Heritage Day? Actually I don’t know if I am doing that… maybe we should? Braai at my place tomorrow guys?

Anyone else watch The Proposal and think, “Not a great film, but man Ryan Reynolds is hot.”

Anyone else not watched Isidingo for a few weeks and now getting back into it but is frustrated because you don’t know who half the new people are or their storylines?

Anyone else have a work colleague who plays Michael Jackson non-stop from his PC all day long?

Anyone else ever wish Charlie’s Chocolate Factory really did exist? And think that maybe, somewhere, far far away, it does.

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Cricket heroes coming home

Posted by lanktank on September 22, 2009

Maybe I think this article is really, reeeally funny, or maybe it’s because I don’t have anything else to post.

I guess we’ll never know…..

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PunJabi Idol

Posted by lanktank on September 21, 2009

Father found this one… and it will definitely make you laugh…..

Why do some people have all the skills?


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Weekend bomber

Posted by lanktank on September 21, 2009

This weekend, I went to a wedding. The person in question getting married was DMeister’s work colleague. So not only was I not going to know anyone there but the entire ceremony was going to be in Afrikaans too. Which is fine, if only I could remember how to speak it. Damn my Grade 4 teacher for not checking my unfinished Afrikaans homework, thereby letting me fall behind forever more in the language!

As the wedding was not in Cape Town, we had to travel there in the day and stay the night. When we got there everyone was around, having drinks and sitting in the Sun before the wedding was to start. We looked at them, they looked at us, then DMeister and I looked at each other. And I said, “I know they’re your work colleagues and you don’t want me to embarrass you but just so you know, I will be drinking the wine tonight… a lot of it.”

As I was making my way to the outside bar, I ran into the groom. I only knew this because I heard someone saying his name and I remembered it from the invitation. He gave me that look like, “I don’t know you, why are you here?” So I explained I was the date of his wife-to-be’s work colleague. He said, “Ah, yes” and things were ok again. We chatted briefly until I inevitably queried, “So? You nervous?”

Why do we ask the groom this on his wedding day? Why would we want to bring to light this obvious emotion that more than likely he is feeling, perhaps to the point where he begins to panic, break out into a cold sweat and before we know it, he’s stolen a car and is heading for the Namibian border at 250km/h… all because you had nothing else to ask him. And then it’s your fault that the wedding’s off and the bride is in tears. You don’t need that drama.

But I did ask and he said, “Well, a little, this being my first wedding and all, so I’m not too sure what to do.”

Cue: Chuckle, chuckle

Where I precede to say, “Ya, don’t worry. I’m sure by your 2nd or 3rd marriage this will be nothing for you!”

Cue: Silence

Groom: Well, I’m hoping this is my only one.

Me: No, I know.

Cue: Tumble weed.

Awkward silence.

Clear my throat.

Groom walks away.

It was a lovely wedding though, and I did have a blast.

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