The Lank Tank

Why so serious?

Weekend bomber

Posted by lanktank on September 21, 2009

This weekend, I went to a wedding. The person in question getting married was DMeister’s work colleague. So not only was I not going to know anyone there but the entire ceremony was going to be in Afrikaans too. Which is fine, if only I could remember how to speak it. Damn my Grade 4 teacher for not checking my unfinished Afrikaans homework, thereby letting me fall behind forever more in the language!

As the wedding was not in Cape Town, we had to travel there in the day and stay the night. When we got there everyone was around, having drinks and sitting in the Sun before the wedding was to start. We looked at them, they looked at us, then DMeister and I looked at each other. And I said, “I know they’re your work colleagues and you don’t want me to embarrass you but just so you know, I will be drinking the wine tonight… a lot of it.”

As I was making my way to the outside bar, I ran into the groom. I only knew this because I heard someone saying his name and I remembered it from the invitation. He gave me that look like, “I don’t know you, why are you here?” So I explained I was the date of his wife-to-be’s work colleague. He said, “Ah, yes” and things were ok again. We chatted briefly until I inevitably queried, “So? You nervous?”

Why do we ask the groom this on his wedding day? Why would we want to bring to light this obvious emotion that more than likely he is feeling, perhaps to the point where he begins to panic, break out into a cold sweat and before we know it, he’s stolen a car and is heading for the Namibian border at 250km/h… all because you had nothing else to ask him. And then it’s your fault that the wedding’s off and the bride is in tears. You don’t need that drama.

But I did ask and he said, “Well, a little, this being my first wedding and all, so I’m not too sure what to do.”

Cue: Chuckle, chuckle

Where I precede to say, “Ya, don’t worry. I’m sure by your 2nd or 3rd marriage this will be nothing for you!”

Cue: Silence

Groom: Well, I’m hoping this is my only one.

Me: No, I know.

Cue: Tumble weed.

Awkward silence.

Clear my throat.

Groom walks away.

It was a lovely wedding though, and I did have a blast.

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