The Lank Tank

Why so serious?

Movie Madness

Posted by lanktank on September 28, 2009

So I went into a DVD shop the other day looking for the movie…. Step Up 2. Obviously with a movie like this, and being 25 years of age, you don’t want to bring too much attention to yourself. You need to walk into the place, look like you know exactly what you’re doing, grab the product in question and get out, avoiding all eye contact at all times.

I tried to make this operation as quick and shameless as possible but I couldn’t find the mofo thing!

Knowing at this point I’ve lingered far too long, I look up to see the sales assistant slowly sauntering over in my direction. I began to panic, various thoughts running through my mind when suddenly that classic “Devil vs. Angel” on the shoulder scenario popped up:

Devil: “OK, you need to lie.”
Angel: “No, don’t lie; you came all this way to the shop to get a specific DVD.”
Devil: “Yes, but you’ll look pathetic.”
Angel: “So? You don’t know this sales assistant. Maybe he likes shite movies too, and if not, who cares. You’re your own person.”
Devil: “He’ll think you’re a loser.”
Angel: “You’ll be true to yourself. And that’s the most important thing.”
Devil: *cough* “Dorkface!” *cough*cough*

Time was up – The sales assistant had arrived:

Sales Assistant:
May I help you with anything?
LT: Ummmm, yes, I’m looking for….  the movie… (way too long a pause) Schindler’s List.
Sales Assistant: Oh sure thing. Just follow me; you’re totally in the wrong genre section.
LT: Oh, am I?

Sales Assistant and I walk over to the Drama area of the store and find Schindler’s List.

Sales Assistant: Here you go.
LT: Great, thanks so much. Oh, and also, almost totally forgot. Um, do you have that movie, what’s it called now? Step…Up…2? It’s, uh, for my little sister. (Cue: LT’s forced laugh and lame attempt to roll eyes)
Sales Assistant: (With a little too much attitude I feel) Ya, (snigger) we have that too. (Grabs the DVD and basically throws it at me.)
LT: Thanks.

I paid for both movies and pretty much ran out of the store…

Devil: “He so knows.”
Angel: “LT, you disappoint me! You don’t even have a little sister.”

LT: Shut up both of you!

The evening was a long one.

Step Up 2 was the bomb though! Totally worth it!

Schindler’s List…. average 🙂

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