The Lank Tank

Why so serious?

Archive for November, 2009

It’s over and it was glorious

Posted by lanktank on November 30, 2009

I just finished the last episode of the last season of  The Wire. A masterpiece. With no doubt, it’s the best drama series I have watched, in my life… ever. Possibly even the best series ever.

Now the question is… how can I save enough money, to pay the networks to make another season of the show… like 2 years after its finished? Hmmm, that’s a thinker. Suggestions are welcome.

In the meantime, here’s a montage (because everyone loves a montage!) of the best quotes said on…. The Wire! Drum roll please:

Obviously if you haven’t seen the whole thing… don’t watch it….

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Weekend!

Posted by lanktank on November 27, 2009

YAY People! Friday! And you know what that means… tomorrow is Saturday! WOOHOO!

I’m going to eat a burger this weekend.

I’m going skydiving this weekend.

I’m meeting Oprah this weekend.

I’m joining the Free Masons this weekend.

I’m selling Lemonade this weekend.

I’m hunting a shark this weekend.

I’m swimming the English Channel this weekend.

I’m making a paper plane this weekend.

I’m lying a lot about what I’m doing this weekend…. eating the burger may happen. I can’t guarantee the rest. Even my paper planes are shite.

But its weekend!!! And I have Monday off. WOOHOO! It’s the little things, I know.

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Too much

Posted by lanktank on November 26, 2009

A client came in today at my work and I noticed that he laughs for way too long at his own jokes. We’ll be in a discussion, he’ll make a not-at-all funny joke and then crack up laughing… and laughing… and continue to laugh some more.

I give the obligatory chuckle to the crapness of the joke but sorry, that’s all I can do. And yet he carries on laughing, until it’s just him and silence. Why hasn’t he realised he’s an over-laugher?

The work colleague next to me, went through the same thing. They started talking, laughing began and my work colleague just stared at him. We both gave each other a “what the feck” look while waiting for the client to finish his hysterics.

Bizarre.

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Guy I wouldn’t kick outta bed – Hugh Jackman

Posted by lanktank on November 25, 2009

A Luwie pick

Right, so LT has raised the stakes somewhat with her choice of Gavin… not bad, LT, not bad. So it’s time to haul out the big guns and speaking of big guns, my choice this week is Hugh Jackman. He is Wolverine. And for some reason, we all think Wolverine is not only the most awesome of the X-Men, but also the hottest of all the super-hero characters out there.

People Magazine voted him the sexiest man alive in 2008 and I’m not going to argue with People… they’re always accurate. His only drawback is that he is Australian but then no-one’s perfect…

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I’d tap that – Bar Refaeli

Posted by DMeister on November 24, 2009

This was meant to be for last week… a little late but worth it:

Today’s pic is the Sports Illustrated 2009 cover girl (American edition) her name is Bar Refaeli.

She’s hot and her name is Bar.( I could say something about that but I’ll let you all fill in your own comments)

There’s really not much else to say about her, she’s a model, born in Israel and she used to go out with Leonardo DiCaprio and that’s about it.

But she is hot…And let’s face it, this is I’d tap that, not I’d date that…But I’d do both anyway.

Bar_Refaeli

…And she has nice legs.

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It happens

Posted by lanktank on November 23, 2009

You don’t want to be that person but we all have been at some point in our awkward, less than perfect lives…

You know,

–    That A-Hole who forgets to turn off their cell phone and it rings during a groom’s wedding speech.

–    Having a tickle in your throat and beginning to cough during a small, intimate theatre production.

–    Crying during a movie, in the cinema on your first date.

–    Being the nose sniffer during a crucial final exam. You can feel the people around you, staring, sighing, wishing an asteroid would land on your face.

–    Falling asleep during a work meeting. Not necessarily “full on” sleeping but your eyes are opening and closing at an abnormally slow pace.

–    Tripping as you walk into a house party… or a club.

–    Talking exceptionally loud at a party because the music is blasting but then it suddenly turns off. You’re still talking at that volume. Here, it never really matters what you’re actually saying, it’s always embarrassing. But usually whatever you are saying… is embarrassing.

–    Eating something and it’s so hot you have to spit it out. Only to look around and realise you’re in company.

I suppose we can take comfort to know that we’re not alone. It happens to everybody… unless it doesn’t and it’s just me! Oh no! Oh no! Don’t say it to be true!

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Too Early?

Posted by lanktank on November 20, 2009

Yesterday I drove past a middle-aged fat man, sitting in a bakkie, wearing no shirt and a Santa’s hat.

Today I arrived at work and Boney M was blaring from the office.

Christmas is upon us…. you’ve been warned.

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Guy I wouldn’t kick outta bed – Gavin Rossdale

Posted by lanktank on November 19, 2009

I really wanted to do a musician… um, for my GIWKOB post… and thought; “Hey, this will be easy…” but when I started searching it turned out: Uh, it wasn’t so easy.

The thing is, most musicians look as sexy as hell when they’re up on stage, singing, jamming, playing guitar with sweat dripping off them… in that hot, “I really want you” kind of way.

But when you’re looking for a photograph of them… it turns out, a lot of them aren’t the sex symbols you see when you’re at the concert…. a couple 100 metres away.

Shallow? Yes. Fickle? Of course. But this is a competition and all I have is a picture to work with.

Anyway, not wanting to deviate from my “theme” I suddenly remembered: Gavin Rossdale. This British hottie, married to Gwen Stefani and the front man for the band Bush, is a very good pick. Not only is he “rock ‘n roll” and super, rad cool; but he seems like a great husband and father. Everything a girl looks for. Also, he’s not one of those “metrosexuals…” – how would I know you ask? I don’t.

I'm just sitting here, shirtless, biting my nail in deep, concentrated thought

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Total Eclipse of the Heart

Posted by lanktank on November 18, 2009

It’s the literal video version! They re-sing what’s actually going on in the video. Kleppie sent this to me and it’s gold. They’re a whole bunch but I’ve posted Bonnie Tyler’s “Total Eclipse of the Heart.”

It starts off funny and just gets funnier! Worth a watch for sure:

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Angry Elephant…. Seal

Posted by lanktank on November 17, 2009

It’s not an elephant and it’s not a seal…. it’s an angry elephant seal!

I thought seals were meant to be cute and clap their little fins together while bouncing balls on their nose. But looks at this thing…. “Rrraaa! I’m going to eat you because I’m so ugly and angry!!” And don’t forget fat.

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