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Why so serious?

Archive for the ‘Remember The Classics’ Category

Remember The Classics – Doom

Posted by lanktank on October 20, 2009

In the spirit of mosquitoes, bugs all creatures that prevented me from getting any sleep last night – During my hours of awaked-ness, I had a vivid memory of the old Doom advert they used to play on TV.

The one with the cowboy in Mexico… well, who knows where he actually was, but it was somewhere, seriously warm and desert-like. And I think he was wearing a poncho. Maybe that’s where I get the “Mexico” idea from. Is he also wearing a sombrero? I thought it was a cowboy hat?

Anyway, he’s sitting on the ground, leaning against some wooden shop. His head is titled down, and all you can see is his hat and little cigar. He’s trying to get some rest after a hard day’s work of horse-riding I presume. There’s not a breath of wind in the air and it’s almost completely silent, until the sound of a buzzing fly becomes almost unbearable.

Suddenly he launches up, draws a can of Doom out of his poncho and begins spraying the fly, with all the anger, intensity and concentration you’ve ever seen in your life.

He was pissed… and he showed that fly who was boss.

It was sooo cool.

It was a Doom advert hey?

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Remember the classics – Vaseline Intensive Care

Posted by lanktank on August 24, 2009

“Sometimes your skin is so dry…”

Come on, say it with me:

“You can actually write on the word… DRY.”

Simple but effective.

And since then we’ve all had those dry skin days and found ourselves scribbling the word “Dry” onto our forearm with our nail. And it’s from that Advert. And we all remember and then we all laugh.

Once the lady lathers herself in cream, she tries to write it on her arm again but guess what? She can’t! Because her skin is all lovely and moisturized. Amazing!

And what’s even more astounding, is that I don’t remember the middle-aged woman in the advert ever mentioning Vaseline… but somehow I just know that it is.

Now that’s a classic.

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Remember the Classics – Lunch Bar

Posted by lanktank on July 22, 2009

“I am a Macintyre from Glasgow, what kind of a Maccer are you?”

“I am a Macintini.”

“Macintini? Ah, from Edinborough I suppose.”

“Noooo, from Maritzborough!”

The tug of war, in the little Scottish kilts….. A CLASSIC!

And he was so little against all the other fatties but so strong because of the Lunch Bar… you see; size really doesn’t count…when it comes to tug of war.

Speaking of tug of war: Is it “Tug Of War” or “Tug ‘O War?”

I’ve always said “Of” but I’m open to the possibility of being wrong on this subject matter.


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Remember The Classics – Sta-soft

Posted by lanktank on June 30, 2009

One of the few adverts where I could find the kid bearable to listen to. You remember the ad; it’s when the little boy told us the 5 reasons why we should buy Sta-soft.

Reason 1 to 3, I couldn’t tell you if my parent’s dog, Robbie’s life depended on it but it was the 4th and 5th reasons that made the advert a classic:

Little Boy: “And four; It’s strong, reeeeally strong!” As he says this he jumps onto the Sta-soft tube and guess what? It doesn’t break!!!  WOW! Unbelievable!

Ok, aside from the fact that I wasn’t aware a great selling point for fabric softener (so great in fact, that it’s labelled the 4th best reason to buy the product) is that the packaging has to be “jumping up and down on it” proof; it was only a 7 year old boy who jumped on it. After we saw that advert, what was the first thing we all wanted to try? Jumping on it! And my friend Jeff did, in the supermarket: One stomp and fabric softener liquid, shot across the entire aisle, leaving all involved a little messy and self-humiliated.

I miss Jeff….A-hole.

Little Boy: “And five! It’s 80% less plastic.”

I don’t know why I remember that point but I do. I think it’s because it came directly after reason four.

Sta-soft: The only fabric softener I can name and it’s because of that ad, ergo, vis-à-vis making it a classic.

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Remember the classics… The one-liners

Posted by lanktank on June 8, 2009

There are those adverts where one doesn’t necessarily remember the advert itself or the story line but you remember the slogan, or “one-liner” for the product and that in itself make’s it classic! At least, memorable…am I stretching???

The point is, I absolutely don’t remember what happened in the advert but they’ve managed to stick a “one-liner” in it  that makes one remember the product. This is my list of memorable lines below:

Saving you time, saving you money, putting you first – Nashua

You’ve got an uncle in the furniture business… – Joshua Door (I even remember the tune to this one)

Everything keeps going right – Toyota

It’s my last one, but you can have it – Rolo

Maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s – Maybelline

Yes! Yes! Yes! – NBS

You know what I’m saying? – Cell C (This was Cell C’s first ever advert in SA. It was the one with all the people walking around on their cell phones saying  “specifically SA colloquialisms” that no one in SA understood…)

That’s all I can think of but I know there’s more… someone help me out!

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Remember the classics: Fresca

Posted by lanktank on May 4, 2009

Who remembers Larry? I know you do! And who remembers Fresca? You know, the drink?

I liked that cool drink, why did it go off the market? Not enough sales? I really thought it was a popular drink. Speaking of great drinks that went off the market, Superjuice has disappeared which is disappointing and this is an obscure one, but who else remembers Roxy milkshake? That stuff was the BOMB! Why do they cancel these things?

But I digress: Fresca.

All these adverts contained Larry, usually wearing some ridiculous outfit, if I recall a purple suit with funny patterns and a top hat. He would walk up to the camera, knock on it like he was looking through a peephole and say things like “Oi!” and “Ello!” (He was English – that’s what they say).

To be perfectly honest I can’t entirely remember what he would waffle on about but always, always at the end of his ramblings, he would end off by saying, “Nothing? That’s ‘cos nothing tastes like Fresca!!!” At which point, he shove the can of Fresca in front of the camera. Although since he was English, he would pronounce “nothing” as “nuffink” which made it even more memorable.

Whatever happened to Larry? Last I heard he got deported…

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Remember the classics…or were they?

Posted by lanktank on April 9, 2009

I thought this week I’d mention some Ads, we’re probably looking at late 90’s early 00’s, that I loved but unfortunately have NO IDEA what they were advertising. It’s a pity…to have an advert that’s memorable but not the actual product. So would these be classified as classics? I’m not sure.

The first advert is set in a classroom of children. They all are taking turns saying what they want to be when they grow up. It gets to the one boy and as he stands up he says, “When I grow up I want to be a Pirate.”

The teacher interjects, saying, “Sorry Timmy (or whatever his name was), don’t you mean a Pilot?”

The boy responds defensively, “That’s what I said.” Followed by the entire class, chanting, “That’s what he said!”

What was that advertising? I can’t remember.

And I mean if we’re being honest, he did say Pirate, so I’m not sure whether him and the other kids had just inhaled a couple of grams of tik during lunch or they’re just a bunch of lying swine’s, who weren’t raised properly by their parents but nonetheless I’ll never forget… “That’s what he said!”

Another one which may or may not be classified as “classic” per se…

A couple are having lunch outside a restaurant when the woman see’s a car parked by the pavement and says to her boyfriend, “That’s a nice car.” At this point, Random Man walking past, interrupts, “Nice, nice? A cup of tea is nice. Mrs Robinson who lives across the street is nice…” followed by other things that are nice.

I can’t think of the rest now….if I were to make my own up, I’d say a single daisy blowing in a light breeze is nice, or hugging a small puppy is nice. Also, receiving a surprise sms from an old friend is nice (this never happens to me).

Anyway, then Random Man goes on to describe what the car really is, using words like “magnificent,” “luxurious” and “outstanding.” After he lectures the couple, leaving them stunned, he finishes off by saying… “use it, don’t use it…it’s entirely up to you.”

The reason why the advert was good was the delivery of Random Man’s sentences. The way he said “nice” was genius….”Nice, niiiiice???” And the phrase, “use it, don’t use it” is something I’ve heard many of us, S.A.’s say throughout the years… in the same tone and bantering manner as Random Man did in this very advert, all those years ago.

But… what car they were advertising?

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Remember the classics – On Top!

Posted by Laurence on March 31, 2009

This blog entry was brought to you by FirstChild

It’s time for regular feature – Remember the classics. The good old days (well apart from the evil apartheid thing), when men were men, and pansy was just the name of a flower (this might be homophobic). Now, I think the first ad that really made an impression on me was the “Cremora ad” … “It’s not inside its oooooon TOP!”. It perplexes me. Why would the coffee be inside the fridge? What was he thinking? Seriously. And, the dude was a bit weird, all that “It’s oooon Top” business. Kinda lucky to be married at all IMHO. Especially wearing that dressing gown thing.

On the other hand, the Black Cat Peanut Butter dude was awesome. “Black belt, huh?” – “uh uh, Black Cut”. That’s right, bitches. Eat your chunky peanut butter and beat up muggers. The dude must be in his 40’s now. Probably got a bit of midlife spread. Just saying. Mmm, I feel like a peanut butter sandwich. Maybe add a little bit of honey or syrup. Perfect for breakfast. Makes a change from my usual All Bran Flakes. Or Frosties. Tony the Tiger notwithstanding. Best soccer I’ve ever seen a Tiger play. Also, the first time I’ve seen a tiger stand on his hind legs. Curious, also, since we don’t get tigers in Africa. Tigers are from Asia. I think in fact that Tony was a Siberian tiger (which weigh up to 306kg). Would be unfair really, to try and tackle him. Also, the pitch was probably a bit smelly when Tony was playing…

“To identify his territory, the male marks trees by spraying of urine and anal gland secretions, as well as marking trails with scat. Males show a grimacing face, called the Flehmen response, when identifying a female’s reproductive condition by sniffing their urine markings.”

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Remember the Classics – The Tex Ad

Posted by lanktank on March 26, 2009

I’m not entirely sure why we remember this one but it is a classic in its own right.

The “Tex Man” driving in the desert, in his Jeep looking very rugged and manly. In a way, kind of like the Camel Man…but possibly even more hardcore.

He’s driving in the middle of nowhere, it’s hot and he’s sweaty, when he passes a massive billboard with a picture of the Tex chocolate, with a bite taken into it. He looks at it as he drives past, stops and reverses back so he’s in front of the poster.

Tex Man stands up in his Jeep, whips out a SHOT GUN and shoots a number of bullets into the middle of the Tex chocolate bar.

Because that’s the way the Tex chocolate rolls; holes in the middle of the bar! And that’s the way “Tex People” roll.

He was so cool and that made Tex cool. Have I forgotten any part of the advert? I just remember it was cool.

A good question here of course would be; Why was there a Tex Billboard out in the middle of nowhere? I mean, one pays quite a hefty some of money to advertise on those things and considering the traffic out there in the desert isn’t very high, I just don’t think it was in Tex’s best interests. And, the air bubbles in the chocolate, weren’t in the picture! Talk about being ripped off by your graphic designers and printers! Thank God for the rugged Jeep man who just happened to be carrying a shotgun! Otherwise, your Tex would just look like any other standard chocolate, and that’s just bad advertising.

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Remember The Classics – It’s Manhattan Time

Posted by lanktank on March 10, 2009

OK, it was kind of a lame Ad, but it has stuck with me throughout the years. I can’t remember the whole thing but enough to remember that this was a promotion for Manhattan sweets.

Come on, I’m sure you remember:

It was a montage of children playing together and eating the various range of Manhattan sweets that they had to offer. I remember the beginning, I’m sure you do too…

“Check the time out, on your wrist” – Little kid has the sweetie watch on his arm and rips it off with his teeth… smiling.

“Manhattan, Manhattan twist”

“Make that worm squirm… something, something”

“Something about a dummy…”

And the best part: A kid holds up two little foot sweets, just as the lyrics go:

“Now eat your feet!!!” – And he gobbles them up!

Song continues for a while… before the closer: “It’s Manhattan Ti-hime!”

I loved that song; it made me chuckle inside. Obviously not enough to remember the whole thing but you get my point.

A classic? I feel it is.

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