The Lank Tank

Why so serious?

Posts Tagged ‘advert’

FNB lameness

Posted by lanktank on November 3, 2009

I’m not a member of FNB and not necessarily against them per se, but their new advertisement makes me want to pick up my clay horse and throw it at the TV.

It’s something about being “In this life” and it’s one of those adverts where it’s just writing, like 3 words at a time, popping up on the screen and it goes on and on and on and did I mention on? And every 2 lines, it repeats the line “In this life…” which I think is meant to be deep and poetic but in fact, comes off, stupid and pretentious.

A few of the lines I remember, are something about not blaming others and everyone loses parking tickets and bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla! It’s so long and irritating, yet I continued to read it. And every time the line, “In this life…” popped onto the screen, I felt a burning anger, erupting inside of me and it wasn’t my tuna mayo sandwich I had for lunch.

And I know what you’re thinking, well, at least you remember the ad and that it’s for FNB. But the problem is, I remember it too well. It was too irritating. So every time I think of that advert now or walk past an FNB ATM, I feel resentment towards them; that they made me sit through a minute and a half of crapness.

Yes, it’s only an advert but I think I feel strongly on this one.

Oh well, I guess it’s my fault for watching Oprah after work.

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Remember The Classics – Doom

Posted by lanktank on October 20, 2009

In the spirit of mosquitoes, bugs all creatures that prevented me from getting any sleep last night – During my hours of awaked-ness, I had a vivid memory of the old Doom advert they used to play on TV.

The one with the cowboy in Mexico… well, who knows where he actually was, but it was somewhere, seriously warm and desert-like. And I think he was wearing a poncho. Maybe that’s where I get the “Mexico” idea from. Is he also wearing a sombrero? I thought it was a cowboy hat?

Anyway, he’s sitting on the ground, leaning against some wooden shop. His head is titled down, and all you can see is his hat and little cigar. He’s trying to get some rest after a hard day’s work of horse-riding I presume. There’s not a breath of wind in the air and it’s almost completely silent, until the sound of a buzzing fly becomes almost unbearable.

Suddenly he launches up, draws a can of Doom out of his poncho and begins spraying the fly, with all the anger, intensity and concentration you’ve ever seen in your life.

He was pissed… and he showed that fly who was boss.

It was sooo cool.

It was a Doom advert hey?

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Remember the classics – Vaseline Intensive Care

Posted by lanktank on August 24, 2009

“Sometimes your skin is so dry…”

Come on, say it with me:

“You can actually write on the word… DRY.”

Simple but effective.

And since then we’ve all had those dry skin days and found ourselves scribbling the word “Dry” onto our forearm with our nail. And it’s from that Advert. And we all remember and then we all laugh.

Once the lady lathers herself in cream, she tries to write it on her arm again but guess what? She can’t! Because her skin is all lovely and moisturized. Amazing!

And what’s even more astounding, is that I don’t remember the middle-aged woman in the advert ever mentioning Vaseline… but somehow I just know that it is.

Now that’s a classic.

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Remember the Classics – Lunch Bar

Posted by lanktank on July 22, 2009

“I am a Macintyre from Glasgow, what kind of a Maccer are you?”

“I am a Macintini.”

“Macintini? Ah, from Edinborough I suppose.”

“Noooo, from Maritzborough!”

The tug of war, in the little Scottish kilts….. A CLASSIC!

And he was so little against all the other fatties but so strong because of the Lunch Bar… you see; size really doesn’t count…when it comes to tug of war.

Speaking of tug of war: Is it “Tug Of War” or “Tug ‘O War?”

I’ve always said “Of” but I’m open to the possibility of being wrong on this subject matter.


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Remember The Classics – Sta-soft

Posted by lanktank on June 30, 2009

One of the few adverts where I could find the kid bearable to listen to. You remember the ad; it’s when the little boy told us the 5 reasons why we should buy Sta-soft.

Reason 1 to 3, I couldn’t tell you if my parent’s dog, Robbie’s life depended on it but it was the 4th and 5th reasons that made the advert a classic:

Little Boy: “And four; It’s strong, reeeeally strong!” As he says this he jumps onto the Sta-soft tube and guess what? It doesn’t break!!!  WOW! Unbelievable!

Ok, aside from the fact that I wasn’t aware a great selling point for fabric softener (so great in fact, that it’s labelled the 4th best reason to buy the product) is that the packaging has to be “jumping up and down on it” proof; it was only a 7 year old boy who jumped on it. After we saw that advert, what was the first thing we all wanted to try? Jumping on it! And my friend Jeff did, in the supermarket: One stomp and fabric softener liquid, shot across the entire aisle, leaving all involved a little messy and self-humiliated.

I miss Jeff….A-hole.

Little Boy: “And five! It’s 80% less plastic.”

I don’t know why I remember that point but I do. I think it’s because it came directly after reason four.

Sta-soft: The only fabric softener I can name and it’s because of that ad, ergo, vis-à-vis making it a classic.

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Remember The Classics – It’s Manhattan Time

Posted by lanktank on March 10, 2009

OK, it was kind of a lame Ad, but it has stuck with me throughout the years. I can’t remember the whole thing but enough to remember that this was a promotion for Manhattan sweets.

Come on, I’m sure you remember:

It was a montage of children playing together and eating the various range of Manhattan sweets that they had to offer. I remember the beginning, I’m sure you do too…

“Check the time out, on your wrist” – Little kid has the sweetie watch on his arm and rips it off with his teeth… smiling.

“Manhattan, Manhattan twist”

“Make that worm squirm… something, something”

“Something about a dummy…”

And the best part: A kid holds up two little foot sweets, just as the lyrics go:

“Now eat your feet!!!” – And he gobbles them up!

Song continues for a while… before the closer: “It’s Manhattan Ti-hime!”

I loved that song; it made me chuckle inside. Obviously not enough to remember the whole thing but you get my point.

A classic? I feel it is.

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SABC 1 Advert

Posted by lanktank on November 13, 2008

I know it’s old but still such a great ad.

I mean, the tv channel itself… eh, But SUCH great advertising.

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