The Lank Tank

Why so serious?

Posts Tagged ‘bad’

FNB lameness

Posted by lanktank on November 3, 2009

I’m not a member of FNB and not necessarily against them per se, but their new advertisement makes me want to pick up my clay horse and throw it at the TV.

It’s something about being “In this life” and it’s one of those adverts where it’s just writing, like 3 words at a time, popping up on the screen and it goes on and on and on and did I mention on? And every 2 lines, it repeats the line “In this life…” which I think is meant to be deep and poetic but in fact, comes off, stupid and pretentious.

A few of the lines I remember, are something about not blaming others and everyone loses parking tickets and bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla! It’s so long and irritating, yet I continued to read it. And every time the line, “In this life…” popped onto the screen, I felt a burning anger, erupting inside of me and it wasn’t my tuna mayo sandwich I had for lunch.

And I know what you’re thinking, well, at least you remember the ad and that it’s for FNB. But the problem is, I remember it too well. It was too irritating. So every time I think of that advert now or walk past an FNB ATM, I feel resentment towards them; that they made me sit through a minute and a half of crapness.

Yes, it’s only an advert but I think I feel strongly on this one.

Oh well, I guess it’s my fault for watching Oprah after work.

Posted in - LT, Things that are Rubbish | Tagged: , , , | 1 Comment »


Posted by Carl Schutte on April 7, 2009

This blog entry was brought to you by C-Dawg

OK, so I was just on IMDb – I often just end up there. In fact, one night I went out – 10 tequila shots later and the next thing I remember is I’m waking up at my computer on the IMDb home page. True story!

Anyway, I was checking a few movie taglines when I stumbled across the one for


“Father of a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife and I shall have my vengeance in this life or the next”

Am I the only person who thinks that that’s closer to a mini-biography than a tagline?! Thanks for your life story Russel Crowe… and no, you’re not getting another Oscar… ever!

I’m going to Google around and see what other lousy taglines I can find…

Marked for Death:

“In Above the Law, he got tough; In Hard to Kill, he got even; Now the man with the short fuse is… Marked For Death”

I love the way they summarise the whole trilogy for you…

Above the Law:

“He was a covert agent trained in Vietnam. He has a master 6th degree black belt in Aikido… and family in the Mafia. He’s a cop with an attitude.”

Actually, there may be more to Above the Law than meets the eye, but probably not much more than in the tagline…

Silent Rage:

“He’s an indestructible man fused with powers beyond comprehension. An unstoppable terror who in one final showdown, will push Chuck Norris to his limits. And beyond.”

I’m speechless, I’m without speech…


“Who seduces an angel? Who strips in space? Who conveys love by hand? Who gives up the pill? Who takes sex to outer space? Who’s the girl of the 21st century? Who nearly dies of pleasure?”

Now this sounds like an interesting movie, doesn’t it?

OK, I’m off to go do a flyby – catch you later…

Posted in - C-Dawg, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , | 10 Comments »

Day of Reconciliation at the Beach

Posted by lanktank on December 17, 2008

As we all know or should know, yesterday was the Day of Reconciliation. A day to reconcile, reunite, merge and bring together! (Yes, I just said words that all meant the same thing). Which was quite fitting actually as a friend of mine just got back from the UK so we were all going to “come together” and do something fun.

After we couldn’t think of anything, we decided to go to the beach… Camps Bay beach to be exact. I’m just kidding, I love the beach. The only thing better than being on the beach, is being on the beach, drinking. Or maybe it’s just drinking… I can’t decide.

As it was a super hot day, we arrived to a very busy, people filled seashore. The reason for this seemed to be, besides the very warm weather, that there was an Idols promotion going on the one side.

Basically it was a big stage with Idols posters everywhere and giant speakers on either side. From what I could gather, one could go up, select a song and sing karaoke in front of the whole of Camps Bay. Girl Next Door explained to me that Idols auditions were the next day and this was to encourage people to try out.

Now you can imagine the type of people going up to sing. I mean, it’s 1 ‘o clock in the afternoon, so for most of the contestants, no alcohol is involved and it’s those type of people who you know think they totally rock the house but in actual fact suck the dick. And this is all good and well, I would expect no less from this type of situation but it was the presenter that completely cracked me up… Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in - Girl Next Door, - LT, Loxions, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »