The Lank Tank

Why so serious?

Posts Tagged ‘Brasil’

The death of football

Posted by lanktank on June 26, 2009

This entry was brought to you by DMeister

The basis of my article is on the game between USA and Spain. USA being the USA and Spain being the European champions.
Now before I start I just want to state that there’s nothing wrong with America. They just do things differently. Don’t get me wrong, America is the pioneer of many great things: iPhones, iPods, iMacs (they seem to like the letter i, maybe they invented that too?),  “Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country,” Country Music (I’m sure they’re sorry about that), the Radio (to play Country music), Cindy Crawford and Corndogs…. but football, it’s the one thing, they didn’t have!

I always said that the day America start winning at football is the day the game begins a slow decline, well maybe not decline but a slow change to something else. I know you’re all thinking I’m being a little on the negative side. And you’re all probably right, I hope.

I’ve always thought of America as the country that’s pretty much good at anything and everything, not because they’re naturally athletic or have the passion, but merely because of the fact that they have the financial backing and sheer numbers to get the job done.

But I could always rest safe in the fact that there were some things that even money couldn’t buy; like a good football team. But now that theory seems to be slowly going out the window and that’s pretty much proven with the USA victory.

I can already envision the “Americanisation” of football: There’ll be cheerleaders and monster trucks before the start of the game. Suddenly American players salaries will double ensuring that all the good players of the world leave for a spot in the American soccer league. Huge billboards, flashing lights, adverts at half time will cost small fortunes. And let’s not
forget all the marriage proposals that will be made over the big screen. The list is endless. Don’t get me wrong, these things are fine for Baseball or American Football(because they don’t interest me) but not for a sport where variations of it have been played as far back as 2,000 B.C.!

I suppose our only hope now rests on the Brasilian team. They need to destroy the American team. Not just so they win the tournament but to save the rest of us. Brasil will be our allied attack on Normandy. They will be the first wave of attack that will destroy the US’s hopes and save football for us all. So what we need is a 3 – 0 thrashing. Thus
liberating the rest of us and in the process making South Africa look better. Seeing as we only lost 1-0, in the dying minutes of the game.

Good luck Brasil!

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