The Lank Tank

Why so serious?

Posts Tagged ‘Cape Town’

Job Capacity

Posted by lanktank on June 15, 2009

I’m driving around Cape Town and reflecting. Roads are being built, highways being created and stadiums are resurrecting, all in anticipation for the 2010 World Cup. It’s all very exciting and I’m certainly a fan of road improvement, not to mention all the jobs being created with all the building that’s involved. I am thrilled by this, don’t get me wrong, but every morning as I drive towards De Waal Drive and turn my head to review the progress being made as construction continues along the left hand side of the road, I can’t help but ask myself, “What is the point of the flag waver?”

I mean, really? It’s not like I can’t guess that there’s some sort of activity happening on the side of the road. It’s like; “Oohh look! There’s construction taking place. Thank God for that person over there waving a flag. I never would have understood what was going on here just by looking at those massive concrete blocks, bright orange cones and temporary luminous yellow signs. Not to mention the 2 Ton trucks, red tape, concrete pourers, mixers and oh, the 86 people with frikkin’ hard hats on the side of the road!” I never would have deduced all this, not without the flag waver.

It’s just absurd. To have this person standing on the side of the road, among all this chaos waving a flag… back and forth… and back and forth… and bac- God, I’m already falling asleep just writing about it.

Surely there is something else this person can do? Counting grains of sand would be more stimulating and useful than what this person’s job capacity involves. What might the training for this job be? How long would it take? 14 seconds, it would take 14 seconds to complete the training…. “OK Steve, this is what you need to do. Hold this flag, no, not by the material part. You hold it with the stick part of the flag. Yes, like that, and now you wave, swish and swash, swish and swash. Brilliant, you’ve nailed it.”

It really has to be disconcerting to know that if need be your job could be replaced by a pole.

Posted in - LT | Tagged: , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Table Mountain Thunderstorm

Posted by DMeister on May 25, 2009

A DMeister entry

These photo’s were doing the rounds, so I thought that I’d post what I thought was the best one.

It’s the lightning storm in Cape Town.

Posted in - DMeister, Pics to checks, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Weekend Memories

Posted by Girl Next Door on March 18, 2009

This blog entry was brought to you by GND

I don’t think I’ve ever drunk so much or slept as little as I did last weekend. The crew informed me as to what actually went down, bar the little fragments that pop into my head every couple of days. Apparently on Friday night I met the love of my life, but I got bored when he couldn’t stop talking about himself. I woke up on Saturday morning sitting upright in bed with the light on, always a sign of a great night out.

Saturday was interesting, we basically drank Cape Town. You know when you drink too much the night before and no matter how hard you try to get drunk the next night it just doesn’t happen? Ya well that never happened. I remember awesome punch and too many hot boys at a house party in Kalk Bay. There were a couple of drinks in Long Street with the friends who’d just got back from Canada. We were in a poker room at one stage, drinking too many jagermeisters. We watched with excitement while Mr Joburg tried to roll a joint with till-slip paper. We got into an argument with every bouncer who wouldn’t let us into their club. Before we realized it was 3.45am. We ended up in La Reference – do yourself a favour and check that place out next time you’re in Long St, it’s a truly magical experience. We got back to the flat and what an exquisite time that was.

Mr Joburg: (on the phone) Ya bru we just got back, where you? Oh my god Little L your flat is increeeeedible!
Little L: What? It’s not mine, it’s GND’s brother’s place. They’re in Joburg.
Mr Joburg: I’m in Joburg.
Little L: No you’re in Cape Town. Want a pie?
Mr Joburg: When did you move to this place? The view is just amazing!
Big D: It’s not her flat retard. Eat your pie.
Mr Joburg: No offense Little L but you look like a boy in your baby pictures.
Little L: It’s not me, it’s GND’s brother.
Mr Joburg: Why are you in GND’s brother’s baby pictures?
Big D: I think the IFP are coming

On another note, I would like to commend The New Girl on getting her car trapped in the telephone pole at the top of my road on Saturday night. I’m beginning to think she paid for her license as last week, after calling a tow-truck because her car wouldn’t start, they told her it was just the steering wheel that was locked.

Posted in - Girl Next Door, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , | 4 Comments »


Posted by Carl Schutte on March 12, 2009

This blog entry was brought to you by C-Dawg

Now being the Cape Town boy that I am, I rather like using the “howzit” greeting. However, it has come to my attention that I may be saying it wrong…

I think deep down we all know that “howzit” is a contraction of the “how is it” from “how is it going”. Nevertheless, I don’t feel that they mean the same thing.

The way I use “howzit” is like how you would use a “hello” or a “top of the morning to you”.

So, under normal circumstances when 2 people pass each other the conversation goes something like this:

Person 1: “Hello”

Person 2: “Morning”

Then they just keep walking past each other. I think we can all relate to this situation. Well, imagine my surprise when things didn’t go like this for me – they went a little something like this:

Person 1: “Hello”

C-Dawg: “Howzit”

Person 1: “Oh, not that great, I think I’ve caught some kind of rash. The doctor says it’s not contagious, but my girlfriend still doesn’t want to touch me.”

C-Dawg: <Insert look of speechlessness here>

This seems to be happening to me more often than not lately. People seem to think that I’m adding a question mark after my “howzit”, then proceed to fill me in on the details of their personal life. In case you weren’t paying attention, other people’s problems don’t rank very high on C-Dawg’s priority list. It catches me off guard every time. I reply with the most standard greeting I know, expecting that it’ll free me from this encounters, but instead I’m pulled back in.

Needless to say, I’ve been standing in front of the mirror practicing how I say “howzit”. So, if I say “howzit” to you, please don’t proceed to tell me about your “under the weather” goldfish and the fact that she might not make it…

C-Dawg out

Posted in - C-Dawg, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , | 2 Comments »

Anyone else?

Posted by lanktank on March 6, 2009

Anyone else notice that Eminem has a new single out?

Anyone else ever gone out one night but left your phone at home, spent the whole night stressing about ALL the people who MUST be trying to get hold of you but can’t, only to get home later and… nothing?

Anyone else still getting the occasional zit even though they’re in their mid twenties?

Anyone else ever feel like diving into a pool of custard?

Anyone else like adjusting the volume on their hi-fi in even numbers only?

Hey, Anyone else notice that it’s been really hot in Cape Town this week?

Have a splendid weekend!! Good luck to C-Dawg with the Argus… that crazy kid.

Posted in - LT, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , | 3 Comments »

It’s so pretty

Posted by lanktank on January 27, 2009

Checks out these coolio Cape Town photo links…

I love it when the essence of a place where you live is captured… Makes you remember, “Oh ya, this isn’t a shite hole. And, my life isn’t always this shite…hole. Sometimes, I don’t feel like a shite hole… hole”

I think I’ve emphasised my point.

Posted in - LT, Kwaai Links | Tagged: , , | Leave a Comment »


Posted by lanktank on January 15, 2009

OK, I’m back. Sweet Lord that was a rough two days.

Thank God I had gone toilet paper shopping the day before… (ah, Gross LT, you totally didn’t just say that did you, now I can visualise….everything!). It’s like my subconsious knew…

Seriously, I’m not sure what kind of Bug that was, I know there’s one going around. If it’s called, The “Slowly feels like your insides are ripping themselves into pieces,” Bug, I wouldn’t be surprised.

I honestly could not move, except for brief sprints to the bathroom for a little “alone time” with the toilet bowl. Thank God for TV hey? Maybe not so much “God” but rather Philo Farnsworth, David Sarnoff, Vladimir Zworykin or whoever ended up getting credit for the invention.

I must say, I am rather perplexed at what I ended up watching during my time of deliriousness… E!’s Sexiest Voluptuous Vixens was one. I can’t remember who took the top spot but Kate Winslet was 6th and Salma Hayek came in 4th. Bravo to them both. Backstage was another goodie! Old school Backstage, when it was still in Cape Town (so when it was still the BOMB).

But I have returneth and shall be blogging a more interesting read shall we say in the not too distant future…

Posted in - LT | Tagged: , , | 1 Comment »

Movies and Parking

Posted by lanktank on December 10, 2008

So I was at the front where there’s water last night to see this movie that’s just been released in S.A. The movie is called Religulous and V & A Nouveau is the ONLY cinema showing it in the whole of Cape Town.

The movie is a comedy documentary, where Bill Maher (comedian) visits a variety of people from a variety of religions and asks them questions on their beliefs. It’s incredibly funny, thought provoking, raises the question of doubt and the fact that “We don’t really know everything.”

It’s a tragedy that not enough people are going to watch this movie, you know, it being in ONE cinema and all, but there’s a far, far graver concern here…

The price of parking at the Vic and Al’s front is outrageous! Sweet Lord, you could put down a deposit for a small house in the South of France with what you pay for 3 hours of parking there.

I mean, come on, I know it’s mainly a tourist destination but are they trying to shunt locals from there altogether? If this is the case, their plan is certainly working.

The cost of the movies there are also suicidal. I bought two tickets and because it was half price Tuesday’s only had to pay R67.50. So are they trying to tell me that it’s R67.50 for one ticket any other day? Moses smell the roses that’s a lot of cash! Are they delusional? And you wonder why people buy pirated DVD’s. Lower your mofo prices Shopping Malls, Ster Kinekor, Nu Metro, or whoever is responsible for this ridiculous price hike!

Oh, and speaking of pirating – How obnoxious is the advert we have to be subjected to before every single movie we watch? “You wouldn’t steal a handbag.” Oh, wouldn’t I? Who are you to tell me what I would or would not do? Maybe I have stolen handbag already (I haven’t) but you don’t know that!

Anyways, I think that’s enough venting for one day, if you can, you really should check out Religulous if for no other reason than a good laugh. But go on half price Tuesdays with a group of people, so when you pay for parking you can split the bill!

Posted in - DMeister, - LT, Things that are Rubbish, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments »