The Lank Tank

Why so serious?

Posts Tagged ‘false’

My Worst Nightmare

Posted by lanktank on October 8, 2009

Came true!

A colleague at work asked… I can barely type it… if I was…pregnant.

What… the… fuck?

I was slouching, ok? And wearing a really baggy jersey!

After I’d recovered from the shock of the question which had the same impact as a bowling ball to my stomach, I replied with a firm; “No!” But to make it even more excruciating, she argues with me, as if to justify it, by saying, “But what’s that over there?” (Poking at me) To which I replied: “My FAT stomach!”

Who still doesn’t know the rule? Never, ever, EVER ask someone if she’s pregnant. Unless you’re standing next to someone and their water breaks and they turn to you and say, “My water just broke, could you take me to the hospital?” And then you say, “Oh, are you pregnant?” – you DO NOT bring it up!

And if you do bring it up, and the person says no; you leave it! Sweet Moses!  You absolutely, undeniably drop it. Not try and convince me that I am!  “No, you are preggers! Look how unnaturally fat you are! How sure are you? Go to a doctor and just double check! Do this for me”

Faaaaaaack oooofffffff!

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