The Lank Tank

Why so serious?

Posts Tagged ‘fat’

Angry Elephant…. Seal

Posted by lanktank on November 17, 2009

It’s not an elephant and it’s not a seal…. it’s an angry elephant seal!

I thought seals were meant to be cute and clap their little fins together while bouncing balls on their nose. But looks at this thing…. “Rrraaa! I’m going to eat you because I’m so ugly and angry!!” And don’t forget fat.

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My Worst Nightmare

Posted by lanktank on October 8, 2009

Came true!

A colleague at work asked… I can barely type it… if I was…pregnant.

What… the… fuck?

I was slouching, ok? And wearing a really baggy jersey!

After I’d recovered from the shock of the question which had the same impact as a bowling ball to my stomach, I replied with a firm; “No!” But to make it even more excruciating, she argues with me, as if to justify it, by saying, “But what’s that over there?” (Poking at me) To which I replied: “My FAT stomach!”

Who still doesn’t know the rule? Never, ever, EVER ask someone if she’s pregnant. Unless you’re standing next to someone and their water breaks and they turn to you and say, “My water just broke, could you take me to the hospital?” And then you say, “Oh, are you pregnant?” – you DO NOT bring it up!

And if you do bring it up, and the person says no; you leave it! Sweet Moses!  You absolutely, undeniably drop it. Not try and convince me that I am!  “No, you are preggers! Look how unnaturally fat you are! How sure are you? Go to a doctor and just double check! Do this for me”

Faaaaaaack oooofffffff!

Posted in - DMeister, - LT, Things that are Rubbish | Tagged: , , , , | 1 Comment »

This is why you’re fat

Posted by lanktank on February 25, 2009

This blog entry was brought to you by Kappie

Ahoy there!

Ever felt bad about ‘pigging out’ on that last Rolo, or stealing your little sister’s friend’s ice-cream? (Even though she deserved it for throwing bubblegum in your hair)

Well, here’s a website that might make you feel a little better about yourself or it could do the complete opposite. Either way this has to be seen. Surely no restaurant, vendor or take-away shop could sell these legally? How does one even open their mouth wide enough to even take a bite out of this stuff?

Just have a look and be amazed…

http://thisiswhyyourefat.com/

The McNuggetini just makes me angry. How dare they mix vodka and chicken…AND BBQ sauce!!!!

Posted in - Kappie, Kwaai Links | Tagged: , , , | 2 Comments »