The Lank Tank

Why so serious?

Posts Tagged ‘football’

The death of football

Posted by lanktank on June 26, 2009

This entry was brought to you by DMeister

The basis of my article is on the game between USA and Spain. USA being the USA and Spain being the European champions.
Now before I start I just want to state that there’s nothing wrong with America. They just do things differently. Don’t get me wrong, America is the pioneer of many great things: iPhones, iPods, iMacs (they seem to like the letter i, maybe they invented that too?),  “Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country,” Country Music (I’m sure they’re sorry about that), the Radio (to play Country music), Cindy Crawford and Corndogs…. but football, it’s the one thing, they didn’t have!

I always said that the day America start winning at football is the day the game begins a slow decline, well maybe not decline but a slow change to something else. I know you’re all thinking I’m being a little on the negative side. And you’re all probably right, I hope.

I’ve always thought of America as the country that’s pretty much good at anything and everything, not because they’re naturally athletic or have the passion, but merely because of the fact that they have the financial backing and sheer numbers to get the job done.

But I could always rest safe in the fact that there were some things that even money couldn’t buy; like a good football team. But now that theory seems to be slowly going out the window and that’s pretty much proven with the USA victory.

I can already envision the “Americanisation” of football: There’ll be cheerleaders and monster trucks before the start of the game. Suddenly American players salaries will double ensuring that all the good players of the world leave for a spot in the American soccer league. Huge billboards, flashing lights, adverts at half time will cost small fortunes. And let’s not
forget all the marriage proposals that will be made over the big screen. The list is endless. Don’t get me wrong, these things are fine for Baseball or American Football(because they don’t interest me) but not for a sport where variations of it have been played as far back as 2,000 B.C.!

I suppose our only hope now rests on the Brasilian team. They need to destroy the American team. Not just so they win the tournament but to save the rest of us. Brasil will be our allied attack on Normandy. They will be the first wave of attack that will destroy the US’s hopes and save football for us all. So what we need is a 3 – 0 thrashing. Thus
liberating the rest of us and in the process making South Africa look better. Seeing as we only lost 1-0, in the dying minutes of the game.

Good luck Brasil!

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Guy I wouldn’t kick out of bed – Freddie Ljungberg

Posted by lanktank on June 25, 2009

An LT pick

To be honest, I’m not entirely sure I need to “sell” this one. Have you seen the picture?

But for those few who are unaware of who this guy is, let me give a small intro…

May I present to you: Feddie Ljunberg. Sticking with the soccer theme this week, Freddie is a professional footballer as well as male model (who would have guessed?). Born in Sweden, Ljunberg made his senior debut in the Swedish First Division before signing on with Arsenal for nine years, then moving to West Ham United for four more.

He’s now currently playing for a new Major League Soccer franchise in the U.S. (sort of like what Beckham did) and… bla bla bla who really cares, have you seen the underwear region in this picture?


Photoshopped or not, I’m looking… I’m definitely looking.

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Kick him in the Vuvuzelas!

Posted by lanktank on June 23, 2009

Check out this link:

Pay special attention to the column on the right which says: KICK HIM IN THE VUVUZELAS!

Read it, it’s gold!

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Guy I wouldn’t kick outta bed – Thierry Henry

Posted by lanktank on May 8, 2009


Girl Next Door…. has left. Not The Lank Tank, but the country! Another loss to the London Land.  However, it’s only temporary but I’ll let her tell you all about her London life and experiences once she’s settled and sorted.

So, to commemorate this farewell I have picked a UK hottie for us to perve over. Except I couldn’t find any so I went for a guy in their neighbouring country: Thierry Henry.

From the land of the French, he’s only a Eurostar trip away! And my my my he is divine, can play some serious football (Go Barcelona! Kick United’s arses!) and let’s not forget the accent… VA VA VOOM! See what I just did there?

Hmmm, remember that advert? Renault was it? Damn, I could have used this in Remember The Classics. You see, he made that advert memorable… another reason for him to be chosen for this week’s Guy I wouldn’t kick outta bed.

GND: This one’s for you.


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