The Lank Tank

Why so serious?

Posts Tagged ‘holiday’


Posted by lanktank on December 22, 2009

Christmas is upon us.

The sun is a-shining

The people are a-shopping

I am a-working… and therefore a-drinking heavily to work through this turmoil.

Only joking… but not really.

But how are things with you? Really? What’s going on inside that crazy, complicated head of yours?

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The Jellyfish

Posted by lanktank on August 4, 2009

So I got stung by a jellyfish. Not the most fun I’ve ever had, that’s for sure. I remember it like it was yesterday but it actually happened last Thursday. Which makes it five days ago – But the memory is so vivid in my mind that it’s like it just happened… but it didn’t, it’s been almost a week. So just to clarify: Feels like yesterday but really was last week.

Just want us all to be on the same page.

It started out as the perfect day. The sun was out; the wind was light and as we all climbed in the boat, there was nothing but excitement and the open seas ahead. Humpback whales were frolicking, fish were leaping, the water was clear and laughter was in the air.

“Oh, what a beautiful place,” we were all saying. OK, we weren’t saying that but I’m setting a mood here. The driver of the boat and his assistant were with the four of us. They were not so much with the talking and the English but they made sure we got to see all there was to see.

As we got to the reef they recommended we jump out and have a snorkel. We all dived in, hopeful to find whale sharks, dolphins, coral and all the other sea life from that movie: The Little Mermaid.

I started swimming from the one side of the reef and made my way down to the other side. I must have been about three quarters of the way and I remember thinking to myself, “I wonder if this is where Ariel hung out,” when suddenly a paralyzing pain shot through me and the left side of my body was covered in blue and white tentacles. This is what ensued:

LT: Help!


LT: I’m saying help.

DMeister from the distance looks up: What? You see a whale shark? Where? Let me see.

Begins swimming over

Baino: No I think she said she’s hungry.

LT: I need to get on the boat!

Boat pulls up, DMeister has swum over by this point.

DMeister: What is this blue gunk all over your arm? Gross.


LT: Shut up, help me up.

The pain was, for lack of a better description: Fucking sore. But the driver and assistant knew what to do. As they began picking the tentacles off me the assistant whipped out a bottle filled with what looked like a yellow liquid. Now, I’ve watched Friends just like everybody else and remember when Monica got stung by a jellyfish and Chandler had to pee on her? So of course when I see the bottle, the first thing I ask is, “Eh-hem, I know I’m in agony but what exactly are you about to pour all over me?”

After some charades I realised it was vinegar.

I wanted to cry, the pain was THAT sore, yes. But then I thought about crying among friends and strangers in an open boat; nowhere to hide or for people to pretend not to notice that I was bawling my eyes out. I’d go puffy and red and just look unattractive in general. It would all be so awkward for me and everyone involved, thus I declined the consideration to myself to burst into tears and stuck it out for the rest of the trip.

I know; I’m super hardcore.

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Back Baby!

Posted by lanktank on August 2, 2009


So, I’m back. Just flew in this evening, so please forgive my brief hello and I will write something of more substance once I have had more sleep.

The trip was splendid! How were things here? I see FirstChild attempted a Coup d’État in my absence. Tsk!

Brief highlights of the holiday, for those interested…a whole 6 of you:

– Praia De Barra was spectacular

– A guy name Charl who was a legend

– Coffee Bay hike that almost killed us, but in a good way

– A rum called Tipo Tinto

The rubbish bits:

– Maputo cops stopping us for bribes

– Getting stung by a Jelly Fish – typical LT, I know!

But more on all of this later…. sleep time now… must….sleep.

But, to leave you with some entertainment for a Monday morning, check out this site:

This should keep you entertained for at least 2 hours!

It’s a Luwie find, and it’s gold! Thanks Luwie…nice one!

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Road trippin’ baby!

Posted by lanktank on July 20, 2009

So I’m away.

Then how did I type this you ask? Well, it’s called pre-planning. A concept I’ve only recently become familiar with. But isn’t the internet nifty? (Yes, I said nifty, and yes, I’m under the age of 55). I can schedule things in advance! So at this very moment, even though you are only reading this now, I am actually already in Coffee Bay, drinking excessive amounts of alcohol! Yes, I’m aware it’s only 9 in the morning. It’s called vacation putas!

The reason I’m telling you all of this is that I want you to know that while I’m away The Lank Tank will still continue to bring you all the not so important stories and information of the world. It may not be as frequent but there will be something new nearly every day!

I will be back in the beginning of August, so don’t leave me!!! Keep checking, keep commenting and keep coming back!!

Am I sounding desperate?

I don’t care!!!


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Thailand… Let’s go

Posted by lanktank on March 20, 2009

Ooohh and aaahhh at the pretty picture. Let’s all pretend we don’t actually have to be at work anymore and we’re on our way to this very island today…. right…now. Cheers, I’ll see you all there then?

thailand-copyPicture by Dmeister

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