The Lank Tank

Why so serious?

Posts Tagged ‘home’

The Miranda Fiasco

Posted by lanktank on December 12, 2008

My brother is coming home briefly for Christmas. He’s taking time out of his impressively busy schedule to make an appearance back home. I haven’t seen him in a number of years and I don’t think we’ve spent a Christmas together for about seven, so it’s nice that he’ll be here and I’m looking forward to it. However, I’ll tell you what I’m not looking forward to; I’m not looking forward to me going invisible for the next two weeks.

I don’t think I’ve mentioned my brother (we’ll call him First Child) before now but let’s just say, “Over achieving, takes all the glory, traveled all over the world and parents’ favourite child” is an understatement for what he really is. I swear to God, people literally forget my name when he’s around. I become known as “First Child’s Sister” and this is how people refer to me for the rest of the evening, that’s if I even get acknowledged at all.

To be fair to him and my parents, I’ve done very little in my life worth mentioning to anybody, but that’s not the point. Is it?

OK, I hear you, you think I’m over-reacting. You’re thinking, calm down LT, you’re totally exaggerating things. Am I? Am I really? No no, but reeeeeally? Let me now re-enact a little saga, I like to call; The Miranda Fiasco….

It was just your typical Sunday afternoon, the sun was out, the day was warm but Autumn was amidst in the air. I was still living at home… going through one of my “not having a job” phases. My parents were on their way to an extended family braai, it may have been someone’s birthday, I forget, but they insisted that I tag along. That’s one of the disadvantages of being jobless, you’re sort of forced to do anything your parents ask of you.

So I went along, if for nothing else I knew there would be a good spread. There’s always a lot of food at these things and I intended on becoming one with it. As we arrived, I headed for the kitchen. While I was dipping into the potato salad, I was interrupted by a British lady whom I had never met before… Miranda… Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in - FirstChild, - LT, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments »

The Driveway Incident

Posted by lanktank on November 17, 2008

Fakeme and I live in an apartment above a block of shops. I say “apartment” because it’s not really a flat and it’s not really a house so I went with “apartment” but it does sound very Americanish feel to it which wasn’t the intention but let’s roll with it.

Because we live above a block of various shops (the bottle store is a bonus), the road gets very busy and occasionally (by “occasionally” I mean often) we find cars parked in front of our driveway. Again, I say “we” but for some reason this NEVER happens to Fakeme. Many times, I have tried to get in or out of our driveway but am blocked by some big ass Bakkie, Land Rover, Jeep (it’s always the big cars) and Fakeme thinks this is hilarious!

I, on the other hand, begin perspiring blood and random thoughts of murdering people with an ice pick flow through my brain. Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in - Fakeme, - LT, Things that are Rubbish | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »