The Lank Tank

Why so serious?

Posts Tagged ‘relationships’

Wands at the ready

Posted by Carl Schutte on August 11, 2009

Right, so let’s just get this over with shall we.

I went to go watch Harry Twathead & the Half-Boring Prince.

*spoiler alert* – (Note from LT – seriously, C-Dawg reveals the whole film here…)

Well, I think it’s safe to say that they ended things on a high note with Order of the Phoenix. Now I don’t believe IMDB any more because they give they gave this movie a higher rating than OOTP (Order of the Phoenix – for those outside the circle of magic). Oh shut-up, it’s no different from LOTR (Lord of the Rings)! Now where was I…

Phew, I really have so little to say about this movie. Again we see them start the movie with some adrenalin – we see the Death Eaters wreaking some chaos. On the topic of Death Eaters – I’ve decided that while the name sounds kind of cool, it’s actually pretty stupid, since at no point do any of them actually eat death. Death Attempters would probably be more accurate – Death Causers at a huge push.

Apparently Hermione is sleeping over at Ron’s these days & borrowing his toothbrush or something. I didn’t find it very funny, these kids are only like 15 and there’s so much sexual tension between the two of them. I don’t think these parents are very responsible to be letting them be playing sleepover. What kind of message are we trying to send to children?! “Yeah, it’s ok to bunk up with the chick you dig when you’re 15. It’s not sex if you don’t know what you’re doing…” I bet Rowling was quite the tramp back in her youth.

It seems like the whole movie is all about character development and their relationships. Ron & the nut-case he hooks up with, leaving Hermione in tears. Ginger & the token black dude, which leaves Harry in tears. I still say that Harry & Hermione should’ve just hooked up for that one drunken evening. The kind where you wake up feeling really awkward coz you’re not sure what kind of crazy sex you just had with your good girl friend. Both of you wake up not knowing if the other one thought it meant more than it actually did. My solution for avoiding all of this is to tell her she can’t stay over – just tell her you have to get up really early to work or something. She’s a good friend, she’ll understand and if she doesn’t, well, then she wasn’t really a good friend anyway, so good riddance. Apparently Rowling didn’t want this kind of realistic smut in her book.

There’s also a teleporting cabinet and a lot of potion making, which I find quite gay. Draco is supposed to feature a bit more in this movie, but he’s just such a wimp isn’t he, so Snape has to step in. The old guy dies & the movie ends shortly after that.

I’m told that the book is better and that they left out loads of stuff in the movie. You know what – I don’t care! The whole franchise has been one big let down for me. I’m going to watch the movies and then that’s it, I’m moving on. I’m not going to waste my time reading the bloody books. Furthermore, whilst we’re on the topic, if one person even mentions Twilight, Stephanie Meyer, the movie or the books, I’m going to punch them in the face. Vampire romance – I can’t think of a worse bastardisation of the Vampire theme.

OK, I need a drink to settle my nerves. This has been an emotional post.

C-Dawg out…

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Top 10 Break-Up Clichés – what do they really mean?

Posted by lanktank on April 27, 2009

We’ve said them and we’ve heard them but what do they really mean? This is the unwritten code, “Da Vinci style” for the following break-up clichés:

Break-Up Cliché 1: I think we should just be friends.
Really means: I never want to see you again. If I don’t want to sleep with you anymore, I don’t want to hang out with you anymore.

Break-Up Cliché 2:
It’s not you, it’s me.
Really means: Of course it’s you. I know me; I love me, why would I suddenly not want to be around me?

Break-Up Cliché 3:
You deserve more.
Really means: I’ve lost a bit of weight, got a new haircut and people have noticed. I think I can do better.

Break-Up Cliché 4: I think we should take a break.
Really means: I’m going to go out and hook up with randoms, scope out the new dating scene and hopefully find someone better than you but if not, in a couple of weeks, suggest that we get back together, knowing that we will inevitably break-up again.

Break-Up Cliché 5: I see us more as friends than as a couple.
Really means: I am not attracted to you in the slightest. Seriously, my Aunt Matilda has more sex appeal to me than you ever will.

Break-Up Cliché 6: Maybe if we had met at a different time?
Really means: Maybe if you’d given more head?

Break-Up Cliché 7: Maybe if things weren’t so complicated?
Really means: Maybe if you’d given some head?

Break-Up Cliché 8:
I’m just not ready for a relationship…
Really means: With you. I will never date you… ever. Even if- no, no, no: Never.

Break-Up Cliché 9: I’m not emotionally available right now.
Really means: I like having sex with you but not the talking, cuddling, having to be monogamous to you parts. If I don’t have to do any of that, I will continue sleeping with you when it suits me, until you predictably want more and I will remind you of the “emotional unavailability disorder” I have and point out that this is really all your fault.

Break-Up Cliché 10: I love you but I’m not in love with you anymore.
Really means: In fact I don’t know if, thinking back on it all, I ever did?

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Posted by Carl Schutte on February 23, 2009

This blog entry was brought to you by C-Dawg


An old university friend of mine stumbled across this cartoon and said they immediately thought of me.
I don’t know why, I’ve never gone out with anyone named Polly…

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Zingara and Couples

Posted by lanktank on January 25, 2009

Dmeister and I went to Madame Zingara on Friday night with Hailstorm and Baino. Hailstorm and Baino are that couple Dmeister and I do other “couply” things with. The reason for this is that they’re one of the few couples out there that don’t irritate the crap out of you.

Granted I’m an item and have been for two years but I still remember the single life, with great fondness I might add, and let’s face it: Most couples suck. They’re either boring or annoying and neither of those emotions I am down with.

There’s nothing worse than a couple who’ve developed “cute” nicknames and voices for each other and then choose to speak this way in public company. And the longer they stay together plus the more you hang out with them; the more they seem to think it’s acceptable to “goo goo” and “gaga” at each other. I’d like to speak for every single person out there when I say: This is not acceptable behaviour. Never ever ever EVER talk like this when there are other people around.

I mean, you want to call each other “Poobear” and “Pingaling” in the privacy of your own home, by all means but as soon as you enter everyday life and you know, standard social situations you go back to being normal human beings with an average IQ. Okay? Read the rest of this entry »

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Not Down With SMS…

Posted by lanktank on November 6, 2008

Technology is great. I’m a big fan. You name it; Bluetooth, iPods, VoIP, DVD, PVR, LAN, MMS…OCD and I encourage it. Granted, I don’t know what they all mean (I’ve noticed a lot of three letter acronyms?) or what they all do, but I’ve come to accept the growth of technology and I celebrate it. However, something I have always struggled to come to terms with is The SMS. I know, I know, The SMS has been around for years and we have all come to embrace it. Not me. I still seem to have a love-hate relationship with the whole SMS “way of life.”

Short Message Service (SMS) according to the wonders of Wikipedia is, “a communications protocol allowing the interchange of short text messages between mobile phone devices.” And it’s the SMS technology that has “facilitated the development and growth of text messaging.” That is my real issue: It’s not the SMS per se but it’s the text messaging or texting as ‘they’ say. What we here in SA call “SMSing is the thing that I can’t come to terms with.

Don’t get me wrong, it is very helpful. If I’m running late to meet a friend for lunch – I love the fact that I can quickly pop her a little text saying, “Be there in 10”. And then she can text back, saying “Make it 15”. If you need to cancel on a party invitation (which you never intended on going to anyway) without actually wanting to talk to the person, SMS is ideal for this. I mean, we all know how awkward those conversations can be. But it has also become a very cold and heartless way of dealing with people and an excuse not to make an effort when really, effort should be made.

For example, you’re out one night and you meet a guy. He’s cute and funny and he asks you for your number. After much speculation (or perhaps not) you give it to him and now, from that moment on, you’re in the agonising phase of “will he or won’t he call.” Read the rest of this entry »

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