The Lank Tank

Why so serious?

Posts Tagged ‘shoes’

You know what they say about people with big feet?

Posted by lanktank on June 23, 2009

Really big shoes.

So I have big feet. It’s official. For years I’ve been playing the “I’m a size seven shoe” game as if a size seven was considered “average” or “typical” but the truth is, although a seven is considered large, it’s still “heard of” if you understand what I’m saying.

Sure, you get the occasional jester, who’ll say things like: “Your feet are so big, you don’t need water skis” or “Your feet are so big, a cop pulled you off the pavement and asked you for your licence and registration.” And of course, there’s the uninspired “Hey Bigfoot!” I like to call these people, wank knuckles. But all this is tolerated because despite this, it’s still considered acceptable to be a size seven.

However, there is not more denying it. No longer can I continue with this facade. I am not a size seven; in fact, I haven’t been for quite some time. I am…in actual fact…a…size…8. (Shudder!)

This realisation was recognised a few weeks ago when I decided to go to the mall on a Saturday morning to do a little shoe shopping. I had a birthday party in the afternoon but the two pairs I wanted (white pumps and black stilettos) I felt would be relatively easy to find. I would hit one or two shoe boutiques and be on the road again leaving plenty of time to get home and prepare myself for the party. Unfortunately, this was not to be. Instead fate had a different plan for me entirely. Read the rest of this entry »

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More Shoe-throwing

Posted by Laurence on February 17, 2009

This blog entry was brought to you by FirstChild

Well, in case you missed it, the Chinese PM, Wen Jiabao, had a shoe thrown at him while he was giving a speech at Cambridge University. AP has some, er “footage”  (sorry) here , but the one below is more dramatic. The protestor, blows a whistle, says something like “Stand up and protest and get out of here”, and then on his way out seems to throw a shoe.   Prime Minster Jiabao says (in Chinese) “We will not allow this to get in the way of our friendship with the UK” or words to that effect.

Anyway, I was chatting to C-Dawg about this. We both found time in our busy schedules to G-talk.

2:29 PM
me: ja so that was valentines

2:30 PM
not great

2:31 PM
the chinese pm had a shoe thrown at him

C-DAWG: like people are getting carried away with this shoe thing

me: and the guy who threw the shoe – like at the back of the auditorium. he couldn’t get there earlier? that was his planning – i mean, i don’t believe it was a spur of the moment shoe throw

he had to have been thinking about it before he went

C-DAWG: hmm

2:34 PM
do u take an extra show for the walk home?


me: i would think so. But from the point of view of legal strategy, maybe no – because then it is a “premeditated” assault. You want to make it look like you just became enraged and undid your laces and threw the shoe.

C-DAWG: prob good idea to wear loafers then

2:36 PM
me: yeah. first we have the shoe-bomber, then the bush thing and now this. i foresee a world without shoes.

2:37 PM
you see the stormers game?

2:39 PM
me: ok, i got homework.

Posted in - C-Dawg, - FirstChild, Isit? Videos, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , | 2 Comments »