The Lank Tank

Why so serious?

Posts Tagged ‘Stormers’

Victory and Blood

Posted by lanktank on February 22, 2009

Well the Stormers game was a bittersweet victory. It was classic Stormers game plan, where we start a little rocky in the first 10 minutes, only to come back guns blazing just before half time. We enter the second half with a comfortable lead; in fact, only one more try and we’ll get a bonus point… but wait a minute, it’s just struck 60 minutes on the clock. You know what means; time to let the other team come back and score three tries. Thanks for that; let’s give all the fans a hernia while we’re at it. It didn’t end as badly as it could have… we did win…Thank you God…. and The Stormers…and Rassie.

Kappie’s birthday night out… I’m not sure if I’m ready to talk about it. I remember there was Jagermeister and then at some point, there was blood.

Skype lesson with the parentals… continues.  I decided we needed to take a break after Dee asked me, “Is the reason why we plug the earphones into the green hole because green means go? Like the traffic lights?”

It’s these moments, when you know they mean well, you have no right to be annoyed, so you just take a breath, smile an say; “Yes dad, it’s because green means go…”

M.O. also wanted to break to check out Idols. We’re on the top 14 I see. M.O. tells me Liza was the best and she likes Daniel I think. Dee wasn’t keen Susie and also liked Liza. But who will SA vote out? I know I’m on the edge of my seat.

Posted in - LT | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

More Shoe-throwing

Posted by Laurence on February 17, 2009

This blog entry was brought to you by FirstChild

Well, in case you missed it, the Chinese PM, Wen Jiabao, had a shoe thrown at him while he was giving a speech at Cambridge University. AP has some, er “footage”  (sorry) here , but the one below is more dramatic. The protestor, blows a whistle, says something like “Stand up and protest and get out of here”, and then on his way out seems to throw a shoe.   Prime Minster Jiabao says (in Chinese) “We will not allow this to get in the way of our friendship with the UK” or words to that effect.

Anyway, I was chatting to C-Dawg about this. We both found time in our busy schedules to G-talk.

2:29 PM
me: ja so that was valentines

2:30 PM
not great

2:31 PM
the chinese pm had a shoe thrown at him

C-DAWG: like people are getting carried away with this shoe thing

me: and the guy who threw the shoe – like at the back of the auditorium. he couldn’t get there earlier? that was his planning – i mean, i don’t believe it was a spur of the moment shoe throw

he had to have been thinking about it before he went

C-DAWG: hmm

2:34 PM
do u take an extra show for the walk home?


me: i would think so. But from the point of view of legal strategy, maybe no – because then it is a “premeditated” assault. You want to make it look like you just became enraged and undid your laces and threw the shoe.

C-DAWG: prob good idea to wear loafers then

2:36 PM
me: yeah. first we have the shoe-bomber, then the bush thing and now this. i foresee a world without shoes.

2:37 PM
you see the stormers game?

2:39 PM
me: ok, i got homework.

Posted in - C-Dawg, - FirstChild, Isit? Videos, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , | 2 Comments »

Tears Dry On Their Own (Stormers Remix)

Posted by lanktank on February 15, 2009

It’s been a day of mourning for The Lank Tank crew, as we got to watch yesterday in typical Stormers fashion, them snatch defeat from the jaws of victory once again. After thinking about how we could bring ourselves to talk about it, we decided that none of us could explain our emotions better than this Amy Winehouse classic… Stormers; this one’s for you:

All I can ever be to you,
Is a darkness that we knew,
And this regret I’ve got accustomed to,
Once it was so right,
When we were at our highs,
With Percy, Breytie and Bobby, you were our guys,
I knew we wouldn’t win this match,
From victory, defeat we could snatch,
I don’t know why I got so attached,
It’s my responsibility,
Stormers, you don’t owe nothing to me,
But to walk away I have no capacity

They lose again,
The sun goes down,
They take the day but I’m grown,
And in your way, in your blue shade
My tears dry on their own,

I don’t understand,
Why do you stress this fan,
When there’s so many bigger things at hand,
We could never win at all,
We had to hit a wall,
Joe Pietersen is just far too small,
Even if I stop wanting you,
A Perspective pushes true,
I’ll be some other team’s next fan soon

They lose again,
The sun goes down,
They take the day but I’m grown,
And in your way, in your blue shade
My tears dry on their own,

I wish I could say no regrets,
And no emotional debts,
Cause that kiss goodbye the sun sets,
So we are history,
The shadow covers me,
The sky above a blaze only ‘Saders fans see,

They walk away,
The sun goes down,
They take the day but I’m grown,
And in their way,
In their blue shade,
My tears dry.

This isn’t entirely true. Stormers, we could never leave you. But please, stop breaking our hearts. Don’t toy with our emotions. We deserve better than this. Than all of this.

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What’s the crew getting up to for Valentine’s Day: Part 3

Posted by lanktank on February 12, 2009


So Dmeister and I haven’t really discussed what our plans (if any) for Valentine’s Day are going to be, although he says he’s planned something great. This is quite out of the ordinary because normally we ( and by “we” and mean him) never plan anything for… anything really, so this is a real step forward… I’m guessing, it will a nice, easy hike up the mountain, where we’ll have a picnic. Possibly, a romantic dinner in the evening, a walk along the boulevard. I don’t know, I just don’t know. I’m excited though,  I wonder what it could be?


So what are my Valentine’s Day plans you ask? Well it’s something that I’ve been thinking about for the past few days. Actually I’ve been thinking about it since yesterday evening. That was pretty much the same time someone mentioned to me what they were doing for Valentine’s Day. But I’ve been doing some pretty serious thinking about my plans since then.

And then I had an epiphany; this year Valentine’s  Day  falls on a Saturday. Not just any Saturday but Saturday the 14th of February, the very same Saturday the 14th that just happens to be the Stormers first Super 14 match against the Sharks. I couldn’t believe my luck. That solved two of my problems at the same time. The first being how can I get LT to the game, and the second being what to do on Valentine’s Day?

So in a nutshell my Valentine’s this year is going to be a few pre-game drinks, flowers, (girls love flowers) Newlands, more half time drinks, followed by more Newlands.

Then I’m assuming we’ll end the night off with a trip to the local pub for one or two drinks followed by supper. Although, I might be full after all the beer. Stormers are going to kill the Sharks! I can’t wait!

LT: This was your big surprise? A Super 14 game? This isn’t the impression you gave me at all. What’s so, and I quote “great” and “special” about that?

Dmeister: Why are you upset? GND is going. You guys can read Cosmo or whatever while I hang with the boys.Isn’t this a win/win scenario for everyone?

LT: No, no. You’re right. Let’s go with this idea. Let’s see how this plays out… for you, that is.

Dmeister: You know, anyone else might have picked up a sarcastic tone to your voice but I know you, I’m pretty sure I’ve turned you on this and you’re excited.

LT: I guess, we’ll have to see, won’t we?

Posted in - DMeister, - LT, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , | 6 Comments »

What’s the crew getting up to for Valentine’s Day: Part 2

Posted by lanktank on February 11, 2009

This time it’s Kappie and GND, what are they planning this February the 14th…


Bullsh*t for my Valentine

Valentine’s Day is this Saturday and I think we all know what that means. Of course, single ladies looking to party and Jimbo and I have the perfect plan.

You may or may not have heard of a type of party known as the ‘traffic party’. Jimbo calls it the ‘traffic party’ because he says his bedroom will be like a main intersection but with girls instead of cars. For now I’ll just stick to the real meaning: Three colours may only be worn to this party. Red if you’re in a relationship, yellow or orange for it’s a Facebook “complicated” and green for single to mingle…just like C-Dawg for the rest of his single little life.

A popular club in Kenilworth has a ‘traffic party’ every year and Jimbo and I have finally decided to test the waters with a devilish plan, if I do say so myself. We are going to wear ALL three colours in case different scenarios arise. I’ll be using the green shirt primarily to get myself out there and then cleverly change to red if I get a level three cling-on who doesn’t understand I’m not her ‘pookie’. Oh and the yellow one is my particular favourite. The yellow will be used on those tough nuts to crack and will allow me to play the sensitive guy. I imagine something along these lines will surely take place:

Kappie: (acting sad, emotionally strained and puppy eyed)

Girl #43: “Why so down?”

Kappie: “Just leave me alone.”

Girl #43: (intrigued by my abruptness) “What’s the matter?”

Kappie: “You won’t understand.”

Girl #43: “Try me.”

Kappie: “Well…it’s this girl I’m kind of seeing…I just don’t think she appreciates my feelings etc. etc. etc. blah, blah, blah”

She’ll follow by saying that she thinks I deserve someone who does appreciate me, while I ‘tear’ myself apart saying that I don’t think I do; all the more pulling her ever closer to this emotional trap.

Jimbo says it’s a full proof plan and I tend to agree with that, I mean what’s the worst that could happen?

And Girl Next Door?

GND will be joining the Black Hearts Club this Valentine’s Day. And not in a weird sadistic way, just play-play. Silly games. In fact I’ll have my hot, witty, well-built, intelligent boyfriend with an 8-pack waiting for me at home when I get back, obviously, but that’s beside the point. I choose to be with friends on this day. Friends who aren’t as lucky to have a love like I do.

Back to the point – we’ll be attending the Stormers game at Newlands this Saturday. And by we I mean my single friends. That constitutes approximately 6 of us. The rest of the crew have teamed up with their worse/better half and are going out for dinner / going away for the weekend / eating chocolate dessert off each other and the list goes on. Icky. I think I just got sick a little bit in my mouth.

It should be an interesting day, seeing as the last time I watched a bunch of big sweaty men run after a weirdly shaped ball was… well lets be honest… never. I’m not sure if you can tell but I don’t think I’m what you’d call a huge rugby fanatic.

Posted in - Girl Next Door, - Kappie, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 17 Comments »

FirstChild’s History of Philosophy #2

Posted by Laurence on February 3, 2009

My first post on this fascinating subject is here. I think we were at Descartes. Descartes was one of those guys who is known as a “Renaissance man” – mainly because he was a man, and he lived during the Renaissance. Now after the Dark Ages he invented modern philosophy.

He did this by doubting the existence of everything he could think of, including easy stuff like Belgium and working his way up to tricky stuff like French toast, and even marie biscuits. The only thing he couldn’t doubt was that there was something doing some doubting and this fact conveniently let him prove everything he wanted to prove including the Cartesian co-ordinate system.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in - FirstChild, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »