The Lank Tank

Why so serious?

The Case of the Missing Lunch Lady

Posted by lanktank on November 27, 2008

The lunch lady didn’t pitch today and it has not gone down well here at the office. It was all fun and games when everyone thought she was just a little late. I even remember the banter… “Ooh, if Lunch lady isn’t here by 12 then she owes me a free pie,” and “Imagine she didn’t pitch? I promise you, I promise you, I’ll hang myself. Ha ha ha” and “Ya, and then I’ll just have to eat you to survive.” (yip, that’s right; these are the people I work with) but 1 ‘o clock has come and gone, there has been no Lunch Lady and things have deteriorated… rather rapidly…

I swear to God it’s like something out of Night of the Living Dead in this place. Co workers are turning on each other like their lives depend on it. I even overheard Thelma, the 56 year old cleaning lady say things I’m not prepared to repeat. OK, I am. She said, “Slut!” which isn’t so crass except for the fact it come out of a 56 your old lady’s mouth but it made me chuckle so I felt it justified.

It’s not just Thelma, the receptionist is crying, the sales rep is rocking himself in the foetal position and Work Manager punched the wall right before he resigned. I walked into my office after a meeting and heard Abba blaring from Thrash’s computer… this world doesn’t make sense anymore!

I hope Lunch Lady is back tomorrow to restore order although I’m also worried for her safety on her return… people here don’t forgive or forget easily…

Oh! I wonder if Jason hung himself… probably no such luck.

Advertisements

One Response to “The Case of the Missing Lunch Lady”

  1. evert said

    That office needs a Terry Tate!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

 
%d bloggers like this: