Chat speak

We’ve seen over the last few years a new language being formed when it comes to chat rooms, Facebook, MySpace and even texting over the phone.

Due to limiting characters or just wanting to type really, reeeeally fast, we have developed this global language where certain phrases and words have been abbreviated.

All in all, I’m fine with this, most of the time it just makes sense and we all know what everyone is talking about, although you do get those people who take it a tad too far, for example:

wif = with
dat =that

Ridiculous. I’m no connoisseur but isn’t this the ultimate butchering of the English language? And for what; to save one letter?

However, when you’re chatting to someone over Skype or msn, I understand that typing, “LOL” or “TMI” is far more practical than having to spell each and every single word out. We’re fast paced people living in a fast paced world – got to save time any way we can.

The issue I have is when you’re not on the computer but rather having a conversation face to face with a human (you know, not a puppy or giraffe, in case you were confused) and these acronyms start coming out of the person’s mouth…

Example 1:

Girl 1:    “Yesterday, I ran over a cat!”
Girl 2:    “OMG! Are you ok?”

The issue I have here is that actually saying the letters, “O.M.G.” takes 0% quicker than just saying the original words, “Oh my God.” So just say the whole thing.

Example 2:
Guy 1:    “…and then he bails over the barn!”
Guy 2:    “LOL!”

Why would you say “LOL?” LOL by definition means: LAUGH OUT LOUD. So if you are physically laughing loud enough for the person standing next to you to hear, you’re by default fulfilling the purpose of LOL. No need to say it!

Example 3:

Girl 1:    “I’ve eaten 200 hotdogs in one sitting.”
Guy 1:    “WTF?!”

Who would say this? If you’re so shocked at something that you feel it deserves an F-Bomb; then say the F-Bomb! There must be nothing less satisfying than substituting a crappy letter for one of the greatest words of our time. Come on, say it! You know you want to.

I’m just saying…

Capped mofos!

I’ve been capped.

Not “Gansta” capped like, “I’ll put a cap in your ass mutha f@cka!”

And not “peak” capped like someone throwing thousands of baseball, trucker and military hats at my head.

But rather, internet capped! For those of you living overseas (i.e. not in South Africa) this term “internet capping” may not be familiar to you. “What does she mean internet capping? Internet is limitless, isn’t it? I literally watch TV shows, movies and download 100’s of albums off the internet every day. Is this not normal?”

Well, it is… EVERYWHERE ELSE IN THE WORLD. But not in the land of S Africa. Not here where we wait 15 minutes just to watch a 2 minute clip on YouTube. Trying to watch Susan Boyle on Britain’s got Talent turned out to be a painful experience rather than a “feel-good” one. It doesn’t really seem worth it, does it?

Anyway, considering it’s only the 21^st of May… I have 10 days until my internet is restored…please excuse me if the blog isn’t as up to date as it should be…. apologies. There will still be posts though!

On the bright side, I have learned from this error and in the future, will watch less videos on parrots talking and monkey’s singing… oh wait a minute, that’s not me, that’s C-Dawg….

Later Vaders…..